Old 09-05-2008
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I have probably done the 1000 .. i lost count..

In my experience.
the first 3 for the day will be hard to do.
After that your social self slows wakes up.
Then you enter a different zone. you don't care. you are not so self conscious.
I will be heading to a bar tonight.. doing more of these.. need to make sure I don't sweat.. need to do some yoga

One thing that helps me.. to listen my favorite high energy song and shout along with it. I usually do it in the car. When I mean shout, I mean FRIGGIN SHOUT at the top of your lungs. This is supposed to get you out of your head and also connects with your primal masculine energy.
Now you are ready to ROCK. I do this in my car with loud music.







[/b]
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Old 09-12-2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shield

1)rejection happens because of what I did not what I am.
that's so insightful. thanks for sharing.. very helpful words
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Old 09-14-2008
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This is fantastic!
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Old 09-15-2008
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Umm seriously this is not a good idea. Because there are ****s everywhere, there's no reason to record encounters with every single one of them. I could write a ****ing novel filled with mine.
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Old 09-15-2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ARealCajunGirl
Umm seriously this is not a good idea. Because there are ****s everywhere, there's no reason to record encounters with every single one of them. I could write a ****ing novel filled with mine.
The point isn't to record rejections. It's to record the times you actually did something... and didn't worry about rejection.

This is like what we talk about in my school's creative writing group. Any time we mention publishing, we joke about rejection letters. We all plan to paper our walls with them. We have embraced what will surely come to us if we want to publish. So our teacher tells us to send our stories to the highest publishing companies. If we aim low, we'll be forced to wonder what we could have done. If we submit to the best and they don't want our work, we get a beautiful rejection letter to "brag" about. If they do like it...
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Old 09-15-2008
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seems like a good idea, if you've got a shitload of time on your hands / care a whole lot about what other (random at that) people think.

i always talk to new people every day, start random conversations with random people. but recording the outcome? not for me, bro. i'm trying to think less about my worries, not obsess over them.
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Old 09-15-2008
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I'm still going with this. A very important note to people practicing exposure. YOU MUST PRACTICE EVERY DAY if you want to move forwards at a good pace. Practicing only 2-3 times per week helps a little but it doesn't really cut it. You need to do 6 good sessions per week and every day you need to stay in the situation long enough that your fear subsides. We are talking 2 hours per day minimum.
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Old 09-18-2008
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Well, I think success with the opposite gender, has just as much to do with your social competency as it does your looks. I think instead of a 1000 rejections, try to re-evaluate what you did wrong the last time and work on that. Sure, everyone is different to an extent, but excellent social skills will only help the cause IMO.
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Old 09-19-2008
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geehs I try and try .
is frustrating because I study in school full of blacks who hate the whites
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Old 09-21-2008
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2 hours a day minimum?

how do you juggle that with a full time job, eating, sleeping, and exercising?
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Old 09-21-2008
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Quote:
2 hours a day minimum?

how do you juggle that with a full time job, eating, sleeping, and exercising?
Either you fit it into work and exercise i.e. talk to people at work or in the gym or you do it outside of work.
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Old 09-22-2008
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drdrgdgdgfd

Last edited by Twidizle; 08-23-2009 at 04:19 AM.
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Old 10-23-2008
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great thread. you've inspired me.
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Old 11-03-2008
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if a thousand people would reject me, there'd be no-one left not to reject me...
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Old 11-07-2008
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i've been rejected by 10 peoples today . and i think the same yesturday and before yesturday ,and everyday of this week ,that makes 50 .soo i need more 950 to go.
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Old 11-14-2008
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No one answered my question earlier in this thread whether anyone has ever made a friend by talking to a stranger on the street or knows anyone who has. So I'm assuming the answer is probably: No, of course not.

That leaves the question: What is a good place to try talking to strangers? I don't know because no one ever tries to talk to me. What sort of "busy place" are people talking about earlier in the thread?

In case anyone thinks I'm exaggerating and don't need help with this, I'll be brutally honest: Only one time in my life a stranger started talking to me in public and became a friend, and I'm 42. It was at a outdoor music festival I'd been to many times (indoor rock music is too loud for me, I've always had to totally plug my ears,) but that time I wore a dress because it fit in to do that kind of thing to have fun at that kind of music festival, in Seattle in 1999. She said she was interested in talking to me because she had just been wishing to meet a man in a dress. From seeing that she had a lot of friends, that was when I started to realize that adults can generally have friends that they choose and there's a possibility of me having a social life. She happened to move to Los Angeles after a few months, so the only people I know now are family and a couple of neighbors I've met through mental health places. One of them is my girlfriend and the other is the mutual friend who arranged for us to meet.

That story is also an example of how far you can go outside your usual self or outside normality itself in public, when you're fed up with being alone and anxious and don't give a f*** any more, and nothing goes wrong, there are actually good results. I just don't know where to use this idea about trying to talk to a lot of strangers.
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Old 11-21-2008
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WHAT WILL YOU DO IF YOU DON'T GET REJECTED??????????????? RUN LIKE HELL?
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Old 12-08-2008
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this is a great idea!!!!

recently i just applied as a job as a host at a nearby unos to help conquer my fear. By having to talk to people and greet so man people i feel this will help.
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Old 12-09-2008
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Once again, this is a great topic. I was just talking to my friend the other night and complaining that the only way I can get better and forming relationships is to get rejected over and over again. And that kinda depressed me.

But **** it, man. What is there to lose, anyway? We're random self-replicating strands of DNA on a rock. We place so much emphasis on our ego being hurt, when we usually forget about it days later anyway.

I think I shall try this.
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Old 12-12-2008
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Hey, I'm new here.

Seems like the exercise would really screw up my self esteem - just further proving that I can't figure out the right words to say to people and that when I get the guts to say something that it usually comes out awkward and pathetic. I know it might improve my skills by practicing, but it is a tall order for someone that would rather do anything in the world that be a nuissance to someone else.
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