Why don't people like me?

Y

yay

Well-known member
Most of the people that i've met usually aren't interested in me. I don't know what's not to like about me.. I'm not mean or anything. I'm actually really friendly when ya first get to know me.I don't think i have sp either.. well i "used" to have it but eventually i faced my fears and recovered( not the reason why people don't like me) i dunno. i think it due to my physical features..or probably not. DOES ANYONE HAVE THIS PROBLEM? -.- :(
 
Ddarko

Ddarko

Well-known member
Well, it's hard to say. You might just think people aren't interested in you when in fact they are neutral or are in fact interested. If you act interested in other people, chances are they will act the same way in return... BUT, don't act TOO interested. If you want something too much then you might not get it, and this is especially true for interpersonal relationships.
 
Y

yay

Well-known member
it is obvious to see when someone's not interested... they ignore me and talk to others. they won't even give a glimpse at me. i feel like a total loser... i try to say hi and all but it doesn't work. stupid ugly me -.-
 
Ddarko

Ddarko

Well-known member
Are we talking about people your own age (I'm assuming you are relatively young?). If you are young then adults may not pay much serious attention to you, but that's normal. If you're talking about people your own age then it could be a number of factors. People, especially those who haven't reached full maturity yet, can be shallow. If they sense that you are quiet or somehow different then they can be cruel.

If you think it is because of your physical features then that may be something that fixes itself as you grow older. As people mature and get on into their 20s and especially later, physical appearance becomes less and less important... your personality and mind will be what is most important, so concentrate on that.
 
pooh

pooh

Member
people dun like me too

helo, people dun like me too, haha!
feel so sad and rejected sometimes..
people dun like me coz i dun know how to make friend
i dun know how to make friend becoz i have too many trouble kept inside me no one to share with so i dun know how to relate to a new fren
i cant share my problem with the new fren as it will scare the new fren away
but i have no one to share with at all
i dun have best fren in my life
as a result i dun make progress in making fren
i am so lonely
there is no one who really knows my apst and struggles
i dun know who to tell
its hard to find someone to share it with
 
J_

J_

Member
you have to find a few common interests and take it from there. small ice breakers help, but if you're in a group and a topic you know about comes up, add in something you know.

e.g if they're sci fi "geeks" and talking about the last sg1 ep, then add a few comments.

Don't give up so easily and don't be ultra eager. Ask where they go to school or what they do, try and weave yourself in with one or two of the crowd, get a number or two and the more you're around the group, the easier you'll find fitting in with them. But a word of advice, if you become good friends with one or two of the group, don't close yourself off to the rest. Always try and keep a larger crowd of friends as well as a few close one.
 
Q

Quixote

Well-known member
yay said:
I'm not mean or anything. I'm actually really friendly when ya first get to know me.
Click to expand...

Maybe too much? A lot of people mistake it for weakness, and that bothers them. I'm not advising that you become rude of course.
 
Jack-B

Jack-B

Well-known member
Yay,

I like you already i think your cool!

I will realate a story from a works party i was at on Friday night:

I got to the party and noticed that people were drunk, i was stone cold sober but vowed to enjoy my self to the max.

I got chatting to this guy i didnt know and i was focused on what he was saying and became really interested. He seemed to be enjoying this but when i offered up things about me and what i liked etc he got lost, he seemed bored and uniterested. We get this feeling from our side because we are attached to the good opinion of others. We want others to like us because it seems to make us feel happy. Happiness comes from our side so we dont need for others to like us but we will still desire for them to like us anyway.

Many people dont listen properly because they too are also anxious and feel awkward and when its not talking about them they feel out of control because they feel pressure to respond. umm viscious is the mind of anxiety. Stops us from discriminating things properly, focuses our energy on doubts and self concern so we lose all perspective. This is why many people drink, duthc courage dissapears the mind of anxiety removing doubts if only temporarily.

The way to beat this is to dis believe that anyone dislikes you or finds you uninteresting. Everyone has a story to tell and if you give others genuine 100 per cent theres no valid reason why they should dislike you, if they do then you should feel compassion for them because in that case they are even more lost than most.

Jack
 
styrka

styrka

Active member
Jack-B said:
Yay,

I like you already i think your cool!

I will realate a story from a works party i was at on Friday night:

I got to the party and noticed that people were drunk, i was stone cold sober but vowed to enjoy my self to the max.

I got chatting to this guy i didnt know and i was focused on what he was saying and became really interested. He seemed to be enjoying this but when i offered up things about me and what i liked etc he got lost, he seemed bored and uniterested. We get this feeling from our side because we are attached to the good opinion of others. We want others to like us because it seems to make us feel happy. Happiness comes from our side so we dont need for others to like us but we will still desire for them to like us anyway.

Many people dont listen properly because they too are also anxious and feel awkward and when its not talking about them they feel out of control because they feel pressure to respond. umm viscious is the mind of anxiety. Stops us from discriminating things properly, focuses our energy on doubts and self concern so we lose all perspective. This is why many people drink, duthc courage dissapears the mind of anxiety removing doubts if only temporarily.

The way to beat this is to dis believe that anyone dislikes you or finds you uninteresting. Everyone has a story to tell and if you give others genuine 100 per cent theres no valid reason why they should dislike you, if they do then you should feel compassion for them because in that case they are even more lost than most.

Jack
Click to expand...

hey jack-B, I liked your story, thanks for writing it.
I'm always thinking people don't like me. if they don't approach me, or don't talk to me, I conclude that they don't like me and then I conclude they're jerks. I'm always trying to read 'signs' from other people, the way they react to me, the faces they make, their body language, etc.... and I interpret these 'signs' and most of the time I conclude that they don't like me and don't find me interesting. its the same when I call someone or email, if they don't reply then I think they're jerks and that they don't like me and are playing games with me and using me. I always do this. crazy hugh?? I don't trust people at all, I'm always thinking they want to hurt me. :evil:
 
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