way too afraid to go back to school

Ok I don't know how to start this off but here goes...

2 years ago I dropped out of highschool because of my SA, after a year of counceling I felt like I was ready to go back to school again, so I decided to give it a shot, anway the first 2 days in school didn't go too well, I was too afraid to say even ONE word to anyone. Today when one of my teachers said hi I replied in a low sqeaky voice when I sat down and 2 of the kids behind me were debating wether I sounded weird because they had me on ritalin or wether I was mental, It was so embarassing, I don't think I can go back tommarow.

Has this sort of thing happend to anyone else?

and sorry for coming here asking for help on my first post like that, it seems kind of rude.

Thanks

I think you should go back tomorrow. My voice sometimes comes out funny too when I speak to people when im nervous. it can come out as squeeky or quieter or louder than i expect and it throughs me but usually goes away if I talk for a little while.

Try and be resilient school is tough but you have to try and stick it out some days are terrible some are not so bad. the kids behind you probably just do it for fun because they really dont know how it feels try to ignore them.

The best of luck.

Thanks for that reply It helped alot, I'm going to give it another try since its only been 3 days I just can't give up this early, I hope it goes well.

I had the same problem.... When i was in jr high one year i missed 115 days of school i got myself sent away shortly after. the psyc they sent me to gave me drugs and it helped for awile. i did end up dropping out of school but it was due to an unrelated cause. I had trouble the first time i went off to college. but I am in the process of going to school again so I wish you the best of fortune...

hope it all goes well for you 8)

Oddball said:

Today when one of my teachers said hi I replied in a low sqeaky voice when I sat down and 2 of the kids behind me were debating wether I sounded weird

Click to expand...

It's not rude whatsoever to ask for advice so directly through you're first post. Welcome.

I had the same experience when I left my primary school (for kids upto 11years old) and a few weeks later was forced into another one. On my first day some kids in the assembly said hello and I was either too shy to talk back or said hi in a squeaky voice, can't remember! Anyway, a few kids sat behind me spent the entire assembly insulting me until I felt physical sick from anxiety.

So....I left. I am a primary school drop out! From two schools!

Looking back I am dissapointed I didn't see it through. Most young people are evil and will pick up on ANY insecurities or mildly abnormal behaviour to insult you with. This happens in all schools I'm guessing, plus being the new kid for me made it worse. Also being away for such a long time simply makes you a new kid anyway.

My advice would be to see it through and realise that almost everyone is going to be picked on in some way. Try not to feel victimised or singled out and they might notice your resiliance and leave you alone? Hopefully!

Thanks for the replies, It really helps knowing there are people out there who can relate to whats going on (now only if I can find somone like this in real life *sigh*) anyway I couldn't get myself to go to school yesterday I was just too worried..and this morning I spent an hour getting ready for school then I found out it was closed due to snow :roll: , I'll try to go again on Monday, I'll let you guys know how it goes.

Glad to hear u decided to go back to school, Oddball

Highschool was also nightmare for me, walking through that hallaways thinking everyone is looking at me and laughing in their minds cause I acted like a freak, 10 min brakes that extended more cause the theachers didn't bother to come on time seemed to last hours, in witch u had to socialize with the other outgoing classmates...

But I never thought of droping off school, it took me a lot of work to get to that highschool, the best in town. I focused on my studies and u should do that too. Of course it was hard for me to go to class everyday, I'm glad I wasn't bullied through the 4 years, except for the 12th grade :?

I was a drop out this year in college though, depression got the best of me, but I managed to go back. U should try to stick to school, and if u find that hard u can try to be home schooled, I dunno, I didn't had that posibility here.

Education is very important. But it comes after mental health :lol:

renegade said:

and if u find that hard u can try to be home schooled, I dunno, I didn't had that posibility here.

Click to expand...

When I first stopped going to school at age 15 they gave me a home tutor, but I stopped meeting with her right after I turned 16 (the legal age to drop out) because she always wanted me to meet her at a restourant or some other public place (I guess she thought that exposing me to public situations would help with SA) and usually she would talk to me about my problems in public and ask real personal questions and it was really uncomferatble being there, I mean it's hard enough being in public with SA but talking about your problems like that infront of people is even worse, so I decided to stop going and get 1 on 1 counceling, which really helped. Now I'm in my first week of school, it's still pretty hard but 2 years ago I wouldve never thought I'd be able to step into a school again.

and sorry if you had trouble understanding my post..I'm kind of an idiot.

you can do it man.

Its gonna be hard...but you have done 1 day, and the first day is the hardest of all. Its going to get easier and easier as you get used to it. You just have to force yourself to go. If people are looking at you funny then its them who are fucked up, there is nothing wrong with you. Everybody gets nervous, its just we react differntly to it.

Good luck mate, im sure you will be fine

sasdf

scatmantom said:

you can do it man.

Its gonna be hard...but you have done 1 day, and the first day is the hardest of all. Its going to get easier and easier as you get used to it. You just have to force yourself to go. If people are looking at you funny then its them who are fucked up, there is nothing wrong with you. Everybody gets nervous, its just we react differntly to it.

Good luck mate, im sure you will be fine

Click to expand...

Thanks man, I have been getting alot better these past few days, I'll work through it

Oddball said:

renegade said:

and if u find that hard u can try to be home schooled, I dunno, I didn't had that posibility here.

Click to expand...

and sorry if you had trouble understanding my post..I'm kind of an idiot.

Click to expand...

You're perfectly normal man, you're not an idiot :wink: And I had no problem understanding your post

Btw, nice 2 hear u got better, see, it wasn't that hard. You'll get better and better, you'll see, try to make friends with other shy class mates, one step at a time: one hello today, a little chat the day after and so on...

I know it is hard, but u got to take risks. And if someone acts funny, they are assholes and that is it. Good luck 8)

renegade said:

Oddball said:

renegade said:

and if u find that hard u can try to be home schooled, I dunno, I didn't had that posibility here.

Click to expand...

and sorry if you had trouble understanding my post..I'm kind of an idiot.

Click to expand...

You're perfectly normal man, you're not an idiot :wink: And I had no problem understanding your post

Btw, nice 2 hear u got better, see, it wasn't that hard. You'll get better and better, you'll see, try to make friends with other shy class mates, one step at a time: one hello today, a little chat the day after and so on...

I know it is hard, but u got to take risks. And if someone acts funny, they are assholes and that is it. Good luck 8)

Click to expand...

Thanks man that made me feel really good.

Here's an update on what I'm doing

I decided to stop going to school since I'm like a year and a half behind and who the hell wants to graduate at age 20 anyway?, so I'm starting my G.E.D preperation class after the holiday break, my brother told me the people there are alot nicer than the kids in High School and that most of them are in their late 20's and I feel alot more comfertable around adults so hopfully it'll be easier, plus I have a docs appointment soon and hopfully she'll give me some xanax to take the edge off.

Hey, getting on your tracks again. Happy for you man,