I can relate to the exact details and frustrations, but I must say, it was not a feeling of guilt or being ashamed because I know I could not control the thoughts. I actually did the opposite...I became close to God and it was because of him that I have an unbelievable calmness during OCD moments. God does not shame anyone for thoughts that enter a person's mind..he tells us to avoid sinful thoughts that one consciously thinks of and gets pleasure from (Lust, revenge, etc). There is a big difference. I would invite you to re-engage in a conversation with the Lord about your problems, but not thinking he will judge you, but will comfort you and relieve you of these thoughts if you only ask him with sincerity. It worked for me back in 2007, and today, I can say that I am fully healed of the anxiety and panic of my thoughts because God has "taken" these problem from me. God Bless you.