Ohboy

[Lilpony]

Hello everyone. I won't make this some big fancy introductory post because... Well, I'm not that interesting. And we can thank that to? Social anxiety! Ding ding ding!

I've had this since I can remember, but its been getting worse for about 10 years now. I'm 21, live with my grandmother, need a job and can't get one. Fantastic right?

I went onto a loosely labeled 'anxiety chat' last night, asking about some questions and they basically told me to get off my 'lazy' bum and go work.

OH GEE! I didn't think of that. I'm so glad you cured me with your words of wisdom and knowledge. :thumbdown:

So in a mental-breakdown state of self worthlessness I began searching on google and found here. I crashed at a wopping 4 am before I was able to come in and write my questions.


So here I go...


I'm only 21, I feel like I can't do anything. I cannot go into public places by myself. I cannot talk in front of people. I cannot talk TO people. I cannot ask people questions and GOD forbid I have to go into a restaurant by myself because I will just stare at them until I pass out. :kickingmyself:. But I need a job?
And it's not a matter of' keep trying' 'its in your head' 'it'll get better' 'just push yourself to do it'
Because I've tried.
I've tried for three years. I've tried going to college, I've tried applying for jobs. I've tried everything I can think of and I cant do it.
It's like telling someone whos scared of flying and heights to go skydiving. You get the arguments "ITS NOT GONNA KILL YOU"

IF rabbits can die from fear, so can I.

I don't understand why people can rationalize the fear of spiders and know "Okay, i'm being rude if I show an arachnophobic a spider"

but forcing someone whos got Social Phobia into a crowd is seen as 'curing them'.

My grandmother and I live off her SSDI and that's it. We run out of food about 2 weeks to the end of the month and we have to go borrow money from my mother to get food, we pay her back next time- only to now have a shortage on the next check.

I was thinking about applying for SSI. But there's like... 100 different issues:
You have to go apply... in person.
You have to talk to people.
You have to go to a psychologist (See problem 2)
I'm only 21.

People look at me and think I'm just some lazy piece of trash wanting to mooch off the government. I don't know what else to do, though? I physically CAN NOT get a job. :crying: Any advice would be severely appreciated. Thank you for reading.​

 

[coyote]

Hi, and welcome to the forum.

 

[jaim38]

Hi and welcome to the forum!

 

[neurotic-to-the-bone]

Hi!

I think you at least should be proud for coming here and open up like this. So that's something you can do anyway. I was just lurking here when I first found this place and was impressed how everyone could just open up about themselves and their lives the way they did. It took a while before I gathered the courage to do that. Because it's my deepest fears and insecurites after all that I try so hard to hide everyday that it was hard to just let go and put it out there for people to read even if it's just on the internet.

Well, I'm not that interesting. And we can thank that to? Social anxiety! Ding ding ding!

Aw, you shouldn't say that. I'm sure you're interesting, it's just that you might not be able to show everyone that. But it's still there internally.

And it's not a matter of' keep trying' 'its in your head' 'it'll get better' 'just push yourself to do it'
Because I've tried.
I've tried for three years. I've tried going to college, I've tried applying for jobs. I've tried everything I can think of and I cant do it.
It's like telling someone whos scared of flying and heights to go skydiving. You get the arguments "ITS NOT GONNA KILL YOU"

IF rabbits can die from fear, so can I.

I know exactly what you mean. I have been hearing so many times that it's just a matter of training and putting yourself out there and eventually it will get easier. I snap when I hear that now because they just don't understand. I have been doing things I found uncomfortable my whole life because I have always had difficulties with this since I've always been very shy. I force myself to do things I find hard because I think it will get worse if I don't. But it still feel as hard as ever because the underlying problem I have with myself hasn't changed just because of the situations I put myself in. Because that is trying to fix the problem with external factors when the problem is internal. I'm not comfortable with myself so therefore I can't be comfortable around other people. Is that what it's like for you? That the underlying problem is the self-esteem?

If so my advice is that maybe you could try and find a book that takes up that problem and see if you recognize yourself in what it says. And if you do, try to find a psychologist that specialises in that problem. I know you said you would have a problem with that but think of this "Your dreams and desires should be bigger than your fear or challenges". So when you want to get better bad enough I think you will be able to do it.

 

[nodejesque]

Hi... welcome to the forum. Where do you reside? Maybe there is programs that you can apply to? I. Know that here in California, youare now able to appy online for government assistance... then they just call and give you a phone interview. Im no if thats available in all states... but maybe there's something similar?

Also... have you thought about online schooling?

Anyway... im sorry you are going through all this. Especially to the extreme that you and your grandmother run out of food. You should also check for local food banks. Any little bit helps.

Wish you the best

 

[Biev]

There are jobs you can do from home and that don't require you speaking to people on the phone. Since money is a pressing issue, this could be a good first step? I know someone with severe social anxiety who does that, and it works out well for her. I believe she found the position through a placement service. You pretty much just need to book one appointment with them, during which you explain what your limitations are and what type of job you are willing to do. It's nothing as stressful as a job interview, and the fees are a percentage of your future salary for a set period of time, so anyone can afford it. These jobs don't pay much, but every little bit helps, right?

Also, depending where you live, you might be able to get a bit of financial aid from your government - requesting it is not as terrible as you might think. At least where I live, you can get the form and fill it at home, drop it off and wait for them to tell you when your appointment is. There's only one appointment, all you need to do is show up, wait until you're called, answer questions when asked, then go home and wait for the response to come in the mail.

I hope you'll consider those options. I know what it's like to have to go without food, and I don't want you to have to go through that.