feeling like......

[nishah]

why is it that whenever im at my college i couldn't help but to feel like im in hell... ya i got some acquaintances there but still i feel lonely coz they wd only talk with me when they need something like assignment or something like that.. i feel like all of my classmates see me as a freak or something coz i wouldn't talk with them... i hate them for judging me this way coz i couldn't do anything about it i was born to be like this.. there's a lot of times when i think of just quitting school but i can't see my parents disappointed but really i couldn't take it anymore.. i tried twice to end my life but i couldn't...i feel so hopeless...

 

[Guest]

To nishah,
l went though school with no one talking to me, this went on right though pre-school to high school, until l left because it just got to much for me. l end up getting a full-time job. Now lm a mum with 3 kids and carer for my terminal ill husband and have no qualification or skills to back me up, and trust me there are times l wish l did...where l live at the moment its really low employment and you cant get a job with out some type of experince..
funny enough l find my son who is at high school hes 12, and we have moved around a lot hes been to 9 differnt schools all up, but hes going though the same thing.. My husband was totally the op Mr popularity had friends all over the place...
l too thought of finishing it all, but lm glad l didnt l have really excellent kids and the best husband ever...he actully made me feel like a real person and talked to me like one...l never talk to any of the kids l went to school with , l have never seem them since and thats fine by me!..
as l keep telling my son"your there to learn and get a good job"so when he does find his wife and get married he'll be able to look after them, and lm sure she'll make him feel as good as my hubby makes me...
your not alone nishah, l have found some really nice people in this forum lm sure you will to, and dont worry about those up tight little skanks.. EVERY DOG HAS THERE DAY!

 

[Yossarian]

Hi Nishah, I'm sorry to hear about how hard it is at college for you. College can be a very hard time if you don't fit in. I'm glad you are still going though. I dropped out and have regretted it ever since. I'm even more pleased you're still here too.

It may not help much but life is very different out of college. So maybe when you finish you will find it easier. As for the here and now, well maybe you need to find some friends rather than aquaintances. I guess it's an unfortunate natural response for people to feel insulted when someone won't talk to them.

Have you told your classmates or aquaintances you find it hard to talk them? It might clear a few things up and maybe they won't be so judgemental about you. Scary but it really does help having people who understand you and maybe if someone does understand you might make a good friend and won't be so alone.

I hope you hang in there. You seem like a nice person and college is only temporary. It won't be forever. Quitting can be a dangerous route to take, I have always quit and given up. While it's easier at the time it's a bad habit to form. In the end you just end up with more hills to climb.

Be strong, be brave and good luck.

 

[cody2468]

I agree with the last 2 posts. I wouldn't give up as once you have left college things will get easier. If you don't finish college and finish studying whatever you are working on you will regret it further than the track and it will make it a little harder to find work. I would try to explain to your acquaintances that you are quiet and don't say much but at the same time I would make an effort to try and communicate a little more. Some people sometimes mistake shy and introverted people (I'm one too) as being uncaring, stuck up and arrogant but that isnt the case at all. They have got it wrong not you and sometimes all it takes is a smile and a hello and maybe learning how to make small talk helps. It's hard and it takes practice but it gets easier eventually.

Maybe you can become friends with someone who is quiet as well and wont judge you, and accept you for the way you are.

 

[nishah]

to fluffy:
im happy for u that u were able to find direction in ur life when i can't yet. but still i just have to believe that someday i will be able to achieve my dreams by not giving up and besides it's not too late for me to make the right decision for myself and whatever it maybe i just hope that my parents would support me. and ya u know there r times when i feel like i just want to elope with my boyfriend just to get rid of everything but then when i think bout it deeply i realize that it was so selfish of me to just leave my family just like that and besides running out from problems won't do u good it will only worsten the situation.. that's y i got to face it by myself with all the little confidence that i got.. thank u very much for spending ur time to reply on my message it encouraged me a lot...

 

[nishah]

to yossarian:
ur very right it's really been hell for me that i just got to give up but when i think of my family i just can't.

That's my main problem i just don't have the guts to show to my classmates my weakness coz i think that once they learned bout it they won't be able to understand and what more they may use it for taking advantage of me i know that i sounds like a paranoid for thinking this way.

education alone doesn't make the world go round right? but it 's a big factor for a person to be able to survive in this uh world... i just wish that u find the happiness that uve been looking for despite of u quitting school.. and i believe u will by the way u think it does shows the potential of u being an optimistic person or tryin to be just for ohers well im not that sure sorry.. but it's so nice of u to spend ur time encouragin me to go on and it helps really.. thank u

 

[nishah]

to cody 2468:

thank u for the ecouragement u gave me.. i really feel lucky to have stumbled on this site where people r so willing to help in anyway they can to those who need some sense in their heads lolz... this way i feel like im not alone when it comes to experiencing a lot of embarrassments and problems that has something to do with SP... and i oh so wanted to do just that i mean to have small talks with someone but the fear in me deprives me frm doing it... but when u let ur fear conquered u then u will be considered as a sore loser but it's really hard for me though im willing to try i just don't know when... 8O