Demons

i really really really wanna change but i can't.Can't.i've tried before and i failed.so many times.every time that i try to do something and commit to it,i dont know,its like me being alone fighting my demons.and there are many of them.and then i fail and i have to actually motivate my self to do something good for me which gets harder and harder every single time.but i cant leave with this feeling anymore.it used to be anxiety.then it was depression because i was feeling anxiety.now its boredom.i am actually feeling bored of my depression.lol.its crazy.go out for a walk?well here comes the other demon.its called hating myself for being jealous for all those little
cute couples who are having a great time and i am not.it's this voice in my head which keeps talking and i am 100 % sure now that its not me,and if i could reach in my head and make it stop without hurting myself i would gladly do it.even now its telling me ''dont post this don't post this you have sp remember,what if sth happens and the world finds out who you are,don't be crazy you can't share feelings!!''i am gonna have to actually say f*** off to myself this time
until that little voice decides that i have to edit my post

continuing....

we are designed for being social.express feelings in any form.
if a serial killer doesn't express his anger by killing ppl,
he's gonna stay home and rip his head off.if an emo person
cant cry and cant express his sadness by crying ,his head is
gonna blow worst than the serial killer's one.if a person that's
addicted to sex can't have sex,well... i dont wanna imagine whats
gonna happen.its designed that way.expressing f***** feelings
in any form.i am not either of the above,i consider myself a crazy
clumsy funny person.and if i can't express those things near soon
well...another head will explode....i am overexaggerating but
there's no other way i can describe it

I know what you mean. A lot of problems, but they are all connected, as you have already noticed. First anxiety, then depression, then worrying about stuff, worrying about your thoughts instead of accepting them... and wanting to change, but feeling stuck and still worried, and... starting to be jealous of others. I know what you mean, but there is a solution, I know it, and I want to find it.
Stick around...

No..no ,serial killer whould never do that.
Its a big world ,you know.There are plenty of people to kill.

Nicholas said: ↑

I know what you mean, but there is a solution, I know it, and I want to find it.
Stick around...

i really hope you or someone else find it soon and share it with the world

cannotbefound said: ↑

No..no ,serial killer whould never do that.
Its a big world ,you know.There are plenty of people to kill.

actually i was thinking of making it my new hobby:D:eek: