TravisBickle87
New member
Hi, new here.
I've been monitoring this site as a guest for quite some time, pathetic as it seems. I was just really finding it hard to speak up about what I perceive to be AVPD. Just for some background information, I'm currently 20 years old, attend a community college and work a dead end minimum wage job as a cashier.
It's funny, just over a year ago, I attended an accredited state university in my native Pennsylvania. For two semesters, I managed to pull of a QPA that averaged around 3.5. Despite achieving such above average grades, I felt alone the whole semester, absolutely alone and bitter. This isn't an isolated case for me either. I've never dated and have felt completely anxious and alone since about the sixth grade, when what I would call "my only true friend" moved away.
From there, I was picked on a little and had a hell of a time in Junior High School. I had thought things would turn around for me in high school. Maybe, I'd become a social butterfly of sorts.. Nope, not the case. In fact, I graduated and at best, made a few acquaintances. I'm able to converse just fine with people at work, particulary older people but I'm far too anxious to ever hang out with someone for more than a few hours. I remember feeling so depressed at the state university, I decided not to return and now I'm back at my parent's house feeling lower than ever. In fact, I failed one or two courses at the community college finding myself too unmotivated and disinterested to complete the course work.
At this point, I've actually become so frustrated, I've decided that other were to blame. I was thinking about some really awful things I'd do to people but I hope to get over that. Now, I just don't feel life is worth living or even worth the effort to go forward with anymore..
Again, I'm just venting. I don't know if anyone can help me.
I've been monitoring this site as a guest for quite some time, pathetic as it seems. I was just really finding it hard to speak up about what I perceive to be AVPD. Just for some background information, I'm currently 20 years old, attend a community college and work a dead end minimum wage job as a cashier.
It's funny, just over a year ago, I attended an accredited state university in my native Pennsylvania. For two semesters, I managed to pull of a QPA that averaged around 3.5. Despite achieving such above average grades, I felt alone the whole semester, absolutely alone and bitter. This isn't an isolated case for me either. I've never dated and have felt completely anxious and alone since about the sixth grade, when what I would call "my only true friend" moved away.
From there, I was picked on a little and had a hell of a time in Junior High School. I had thought things would turn around for me in high school. Maybe, I'd become a social butterfly of sorts.. Nope, not the case. In fact, I graduated and at best, made a few acquaintances. I'm able to converse just fine with people at work, particulary older people but I'm far too anxious to ever hang out with someone for more than a few hours. I remember feeling so depressed at the state university, I decided not to return and now I'm back at my parent's house feeling lower than ever. In fact, I failed one or two courses at the community college finding myself too unmotivated and disinterested to complete the course work.
At this point, I've actually become so frustrated, I've decided that other were to blame. I was thinking about some really awful things I'd do to people but I hope to get over that. Now, I just don't feel life is worth living or even worth the effort to go forward with anymore..
Again, I'm just venting. I don't know if anyone can help me.