Och aye the noo

Graeme1988 said:

What a mental weekend I've had. No gettin' much rest, either. Me, my mum and oldest sister are gan to a comedy gig in Glasgow the tomorrow, then me n' ma sister are trekking up to Edinburgh for another yin on Friday. Anyway, the weekend, there...


Saturday, March 11th 2017

Ah wake-up at about mid-day. My mum complains as per usual. Didnae do much most o' the day. Then, at about half past six that evening, ma mum comes upstairs, walks intae ma room withoot so much as a knock, a towel over her left arm and goes:

Mum: "Right !"
Me: "Eh?!"
Mum: "You. Shower. Now. C'mon!"
Me: "Cun ah no git yin the morn afore ah gan tae Glasgow, like ah used tae?"
Mum: "Nut. Doonstairs, now... Mon you!", as she points to the stairs. "Lets walk n' talk"
Me: "About what?"
Mum: "Steam navigation!", she's says enthusiastically.
Me: mg: h: "Fur fuc... sake!", I mutter to myself as I walk downstairs, mum 2 steps in front of me.​

See?! This is kinda daft, stupid, eccentric shite ah huv tae endure on an almost daily basis fae ma mum. :kickingmyself: :veryangry: Oh, but it gets worse...

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Man, WTF? She really is off her rocker.

FountainandFairfax said:

Man, WTF? She really is off her rocker.

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That is a... f**kin' understatement! :kickingmyself: I almost lost it with her yesterday.

Sunday, March 12th 2017

She wakes me up and gets me outta bed, then proceeds to ask me:

Then, before leaving to go to Glasgow, she f**kin' gets on at me about the jacket I've decided to wear.

My mum just laughed at me for getting pissed off, and blamed me for causing the argument when my oldest sister arrived, as she was coming with me to Glasgow, and was drive us there.

Graeme1988 said:

Though, I wish I understood music theory a bit better, since it's difficult not knowing how to best transition from intro to verse and have it not sound shite, y'know? :thinking:

For all my oldest sister's bigging up, I don't really have an "ear" for music in the way someone who's studied it has, I just know how I'd like something to sound. Or I'll have a clear idea of the sound I'm going for in my head, but that's all. I usually just fiddling about until I get a sound close enough to my initial idea, or it'll spark another idea.

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I'm sure not all successful musicians have had formal music training. Some are completely self-taught .. i wouldnae be surprised...

theslowesthand said:

I'm sure not all successful musicians have had formal music training. Some are completely self-taught .. i wouldnae be surprised...

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Aye, that's true. Not all of them do.

Though, I'm not gonnae disagree with ya on that, since Dave Grohl definitely fits that description. Oh, and James Hetfield... going by what he's said in interviews and documentary about his rhythm guitar playing.

As the saying goes, ye learn by doing. I'm just completely stumped on this 80s synth-pop influenced electronic instrumental I'm trying to compose. West Sound, the local radio station in my area, plays a lotta 80s music, and my oldest sister always has her car radio tuned to that station. So that partly influenced me. That, and my oldest sister was the one who introduced to the ambient/EDM, being well intae bands, Depeche Mode, Kraftwerk, Pet Shop Boys and Tangerine Dream.

Anyway, I got a 12 second intro, which sounds 80s as f**k, with a vinyl scratch sound at the start before the single kick-drum beat and synth melody starts then fades out. But I struggling to come up with different synth melody that would transition from the first 12 seconds without sounding forced. :idontknow: Basically, the potential for a song is there in those first 12 second that I've got recorded, looped and saved. And I know where I want the instrumental to go - it's just figuring it out on my own that proving a wee bit difficult. Since I'm writing by myself. Thus huv'nae got someone else to offer input or ideas, y'know? And I dread the input my family will give, as I'm looking to hook my laptop up to my monitor speakers on Wednesday to give these potential 12 seconds a listen, and possibly tweak the volume and pan of the speakers.

Mainly, because my family never give me practical, well thought-out advice. It's always that vague, obnoxious "Good in theory" kinda advice where I'm being told what to do, rather having someone saying: "That's good, but this might also work?". If that makes sense? :question:

But ah don't mean to sound like I'm complaining, I'm enjoying finding my creativity again, having not done anything since late November/early December 2016. And it doesnae half fil time when yer bored.

Duh! Of course, ye need tae mute all the other sound coming outta the laptop. h: Spastic.

Too me five minutes to realise this, when got my laptop connect to my external monitor speakers. Finally getting the hang o' using the recording software ah download.



Got a 3 minute ambient piano piece composed within an hour this evening.
Just took me about 10 minutes tae get the basic idea fleshed out.
Then added stuff, moved stuff aboot n' that.

:greeting: Hiya! How's gan? Huv'nae really been up to much lately, masel'. Well, actually that a lie. But ah'll tell ye more about whit a month it's been for me soon.

So, ah've spend the last week n' a half in agony due an ingrown big, left-toenail. F**kin' loupin' with blood n' yellow puse. Absolutely minging, like. Hardly the best way to spend the week of yer birthday, barely able to walk.

Nae thanks to ma oldest sister, of course. Who thinks the internet to be the most trustworthy source for medical info when yer no a certified, trained medical professional or podiatrist. Constantly prodding away at the hard skin on my left toe. with little concern for the physical pain I'm in, like. Not even me going: Ow, that's really sore. Stop it!" could keep her from get as much of the callus off as possible.

It's bit like gan intae hospital for surgery n' yer constantly surgeon in charge o' things is taking ye through it. Then they suddenly go:


Be like getting surgery off f**kin' Dr. Nick Riviera from The Simpsons...
Or... Nah! An abortion joke would just be too much, here, wouldn't it?

Mind you, I'm back on the booze. So that's helped numb ma pain, slightly. Nearly vomited when ah took ma first swig since Xmas last year. Is that normal if you've no been drinking awhile?

I mean, it's only this past Monday that my sister books me an appointment to see my local nurse. Kerry's her name, short-blonde haired wummin. No sure if she's older or younger than me? But she's likely older, though, quite youthful in terms of appearance. Y'know, she's no an ugly lookin' munter, is whit I'm saying.

And, according my mum n' oldest sister, apparently she's can be quite a dour-faced, crabbit wummin. I say that because I had a follow up appointment yesterday, with more booked for next week. Anyway, after my sister and I leave the GP surgery, we decide to go for a short drive outta town, around the countryside of the wee, rural Scottish Borders town. We're chatting away about this infected big tae o' mine, when my sister makes this observation:


I kinda laugh this off. But, in ma heid, am thinkin' to masel':


But then, my sister wus'nae giggling n' laughing like she usually does. Which make me think she wus'nae just taking the piss n' huvin a laugh at my expense as usual.

Good to hear from you again. Sorry you have been in pain and I hope you get this issue taken care of soon. Oh and yes sometimes when you don't drink for a while that can happen...I speak from experience .

For that toe, i'd tend to that say 2 or 3 times a day, wiping off the fluids then spray with antiseptic iodine spray. You could also, after that put a bandage on toe, but i found it was better to leave it open so it could "breathe" & for it to dry-out a bit. It does sound like it's infected, esp if it's painful to touch & it smells like an "abomination from hell" . Bacteria like warm & damp, so try to keep your toe cool & dry (no sock).
I had to have an operation to remove both sides of the toenail, plus this little wee bulbuous sack of red bloody flesh, that was growing on one side. It's been 2 1/2 years since it got ingrown/infected, and STILL it's a bit red/puffy & has a scab on one side. It's been a RIGHT BLOODY NUISANCE it has!! :thumbdown:

defiance said:

Good to hear from you again. Sorry you have been in pain and I hope you get this issue taken care of soon. Oh and yes sometimes when you don't drink for a while that can happen...I speak from experience .

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Och! Give a few days... It should be better. :thumbup:

And, eh, thanks for clarifying what us Scots term the "dry boak". That's when ye gag but don't vomit.

theslowesthand said:

For that toe, i'd tend to that say 2 or 3 times a day, wiping off the fluids then spray with antiseptic iodine spray. You could also, after that put a bandage on toe, but i found it was better to leave it open so it could "breathe" & for it to dry-out a bit. It does sound like it's infected, esp if it's painful to touch & it smells like an "abomination from hell" . Bacteria like warm & damp, so try to keep your toe cool & dry (no sock).

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Antiseptic iodine spray - what it's called... Ma sister asked me aboot that the other day.

Well, I've got plenty o' dressing to cover the toenail for another week, and put a bandage roon it. But I'm wearing a pair o' thin cotton socks. Should be awrite? :question: Also, ma "gently" squeeze puse outta o' my big left toe the other day when she wus helping me dry ma feet after ma shower.

theslowesthand said:

I had to have an operation to remove both sides of the toenail, plus this little wee bulbuous sack of red bloody flesh, that was growing on one side. It's been 2 1/2 years since it got ingrown/infected, and STILL it's a bit red/puffy & has a scab on one side. It's been a RIGHT BLOODY NUISANCE it has!! :thumbdown:

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I know, I've had ingrown/infected big toenails. First of the right foot, and they numbed ma right big toe to the point of near nerve damage. Since ah cannae flex ma right big toe to the same extent as my left one.

That said, my big left toe isn't as swollen today, and I can put both ma slippers on. Compared to Wednesday, where I feared ma big tae wus gonnae drop off as I slept that night. :bigsmile: Plus, I'm starting antibiotic this coming week, so we'll see how it goes.

It's my birthday today. 29 years old, yet ah don't feel I'm that age. Nor look it if I shave ma beard. :sad:

And upon waking up the first thing, ma oldest sister greets me with is the following:


I agree with a "Yup!". But internally, I'm just going: F**k, I'm old! What have I done with ma life!! :sad: :kickingmyself:

Mind you, ah got masel' some miniture bottles o' Buckfast wine, 3 days ago. A pack of 12. Of those 12, 4 still remain. mg:


Aye, back oan tha Bucky!

Just got money off ma family - £250 in total - as well as some humourous cards.
Since there wus nae point buying me an actual present which ah may or may not huv wanted.

Happy b'day mate!!! You made it!!! :bigsmile:



Ps: Have a Buckfast on me! :thumbup:

Another day, yet another failure. :sad: :kickingmyself: mg:

I failed my peripheral vision test while getting my eyes tested yesterday. :sad: :kickingmyself: Ah feel like everything about me is slowly starting to go. Everything from the neck up is slowly failing me, and everything from the waist doon didnae really work to begin with. :crying:
Not saying that for sympathy here, just telling it how it is for me these days. Drastically on the decline, it would seem. But, hey, only got myself to blame really. :sad:

Well, this marks the 2nd day in a row where, upon waking up in the morning, I've been greeted by my own mother complaining about something, this time her inability to sleep. Yesterday it was her hip being sore, then she throw a raging fit simply because ah dared to asked why she always complains to me about this.

Which I thought wus a reasonable question, but no... I'm an unsympathetic, ungrateful you know... that expletive starting with "b" and ending in "astard"


But this is the typically emotionally manipulative crap I've got to tolerate. :kickingmyself: Is it good or bad that I'm completely numb to this theatrical whinging.

:kickingmyself: :sad:

Above pretty much sums up how I'm feeling. Still dwelling on my failure from the other day. Quite depressed because of it. ::

Well, ah wear glasses now. Yay! Ah've went fae dumb, glakit mong to an elite member o' Scotland's intelligentsia within 48 hours. Basically the reverse o' that comedy movie cliche where the geeky-looking character gan fae lookin' like a right minger to gorgeous.

At least, that's the impression within the family now, y'know? Cuz o' the beard, the bald heid and fat, hairy belly. Just need a pipe n' that's me... Ma sister did use the intelligentisia line, like. Which is pretty high-brow for someone living in such a rural part o' Scotland, but doesnae live oan a farm.

Cannae see anything noo without ma vision gan aw blurry, like a badly outta focus video camera. Got a free trial for contact lenses, but ah don't know if they'd be awkward to put in and take out? :question: It's painful enough accidentally poking yersel' in the eye, ken whit ah mean?

Though, now, I fear that when I go back for my check-up, I'll fail ma peripheral vision test again? :sad:

Mind you, it does mean any of the comedians I saw in Edinburgh last summer might no recognise me? Not that I'd be too bothered if they did, like. It's just, kinda awkward making small-talk with folk ye kinda admire in a way. And being me as introverted as I am, means small-talk doesnae come easy.

Graeme1988 said:

Got a free trial for contact lenses, but ah don't know if they'd be awkward to put in and take out? :question: It's painful enough accidentally poking yersel' in the eye, ken whit ah mean?

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I know what you mean about the contact lenses. When I first tried them it took me several minutes to get it into my eyeball and it took only 2 days for me to get used to how they felt, after that I didn't even notice they were there. I'm a right handed person (I don't know if you are) but when I'm putting in my contact I use my left index finger to push my top eyelid up and my left thumb to push my bottom eye lid down. My right index finger places it on my eyeball. After I feel like its on the right way I blink my eye over and over again to settle the contact lenses down. Two other things you should know if you get contacts is that if the contact is too wet then it's hard to get off your finger and stick onto your eyeball. If the contact is too dry then it will stick to your eyeball much better, but it will burn like hell for a minute or so. Good luck!

Hot_Tamale said:

I know what you mean about the contact lenses. When I first tried them it took me several minutes to get it into my eyeball and it took only 2 days for me to get used to how they felt, after that I didn't even notice they were there. I'm a right handed person (I don't know if you are) but when I'm putting in my contact I use my left index finger to push my top eyelid up and my left thumb to push my bottom eye lid down. My right index finger places it on my eyeball. After I feel like its on the right way I blink my eye over and over again to settle the contact lenses down. Two other things you should know if you get contacts is that if the contact is too wet then it's hard to get off your finger and stick onto your eyeball. If the contact is too dry then it will stick to your eyeball much better, but it will burn like hell for a minute or so. Good luck!

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Yes, I'm right handed as well. As I said, I don't know if I'll take the offer regarding the contacts? It might not seem awkward to you, but, just getting the contacts in sounds really sore, y'know? Again, that might just be me being a squirmish? :bigsmile: