I feel like an animal because of my thoughts. I want to be contained so I have no fear of harming others. I am utterly disgusted with society and their apathy to help people like me. I have been house-bound for months now, spending most of my time in bed. I am sick of dealing with intrusive thoughts, so I am locking myself inside to feel safe.
I want to go to jail.
- Thread starter frogger
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secretly awesome
Well-known member
I used to dream of being locked in a room, eating from a tray slid under the door or through a slot. It was the "perfect" extrapolation of my actual state of social isolation. Then there is the fantasy of being shot into space. But isolation can never be absolute in the actual world. Think about those violent thoughts. Are they justified? Or are they sickening thoughts of self-hatred which you project onto the world? Talk to me.
I'm thinking I may need to check myself into a Mental Hospital soon.
To the first poster: i'm completely obsessed with thoughts of little kids and I fear I am a pedophile. It's really the last thing I want to be. I look at pictures of little girls on the internet (clothed) every day to try and convince myself I am not a pedo. I really don't enjoy the thoughts at all, but if I do find myself finding some sexual interest in a picture my mind is instantly flooded with fear. I am literally unable to smile or carry on with life until I convince myself that I don't find the picture appealing at all. I feel I am unable to breathe in public. I constantly fear I will suddenly reach out and grab a child. I don't enjoy anything in life because I am constantly punishing myself. To make matters worse, I am determined to prove I can be a moral person without God. I was raised a Christian, but everything about Christianity disgusts me. I hate how other people try to brainwash others. I hate how society is so dependant on God. I hate the idea of anyone that doesn't believe in Jesus will go to hell. I think I am going to hell.
To the first poster: i'm completely obsessed with thoughts of little kids and I fear I am a pedophile. It's really the last thing I want to be. I look at pictures of little girls on the internet (clothed) every day to try and convince myself I am not a pedo. I really don't enjoy the thoughts at all, but if I do find myself finding some sexual interest in a picture my mind is instantly flooded with fear. I am literally unable to smile or carry on with life until I convince myself that I don't find the picture appealing at all. I feel I am unable to breathe in public. I constantly fear I will suddenly reach out and grab a child. I don't enjoy anything in life because I am constantly punishing myself. To make matters worse, I am determined to prove I can be a moral person without God. I was raised a Christian, but everything about Christianity disgusts me. I hate how other people try to brainwash others. I hate how society is so dependant on God. I hate the idea of anyone that doesn't believe in Jesus will go to hell. I think I am going to hell.
Lost Girl
Well-known member
Ahh....commit yourself please.
secretly awesome
Well-known member
maybe you feel yourself to be emotionally-sexually immature and desire the company of those you feel are as immature as you? go to a counselor or psychiatrist and force yourself to talk about these things with the greatest openness and rationality. Realize you have no desire to hurt or abuse. sort these things out. i happen to be an athiest and believe that humanity is capable of providing its own moral compass.
frogger, u know this is typical OCD?
it'll be to late if u put urself in an asylum..
I'd say talk with a psych..
my brother had serious issues with giving someone a disease and he kept away.. but he did some results and they came back clean, he is apsoultey fine now(saw his thoughts were irratinal)
me i was a wash-aholic, scared of everyone, that somehthng would ruin me, i took my dirty hands and rubbed them all over my face, im not as kind as u r being worried about other ppl..
so u cant just spend time with children and see nothing will happen cuz u arent under any meds(cuz u would not be this sever if u were) and ud need tp plan it out wiht a psych, but beieve me u can win OCD.. trust me.. i might have had an aodlescne tocd tendencie.. but still OCD is mostly treatable..
CBT.. facing ur fears, then ur brain will see there is nothing to fear about..
if u got under some good meds and a good psychiatrist u could rly get better and see that its just irratinal thinking, it has to do wiht low serootonin levels in ur brain, look it up.. it's a mental disease in which u make irrational thoughts, ur def not a pedophile, would a pedophile give a damn?
and im kinda becomeing agnostic, and a lot of ppl are good ppl w/o god.. it
s kind of the way it needs to be for the world to work..so dont worry about god..
dont even start thinking that u have darained form gods ways cuz u dont believe in him and thats why ur a pedo.. ur not
Question: do u see a kid and then get scareed ll hurt ait and maybe aroused.. cuz pedo's.. there immediately arroused.. u first get the thought u could get arroused, think about it
and dont take other ppl's comments to seriously, ppl dont know what it's like
it'll be to late if u put urself in an asylum..
I'd say talk with a psych..
my brother had serious issues with giving someone a disease and he kept away.. but he did some results and they came back clean, he is apsoultey fine now(saw his thoughts were irratinal)
me i was a wash-aholic, scared of everyone, that somehthng would ruin me, i took my dirty hands and rubbed them all over my face, im not as kind as u r being worried about other ppl..
so u cant just spend time with children and see nothing will happen cuz u arent under any meds(cuz u would not be this sever if u were) and ud need tp plan it out wiht a psych, but beieve me u can win OCD.. trust me.. i might have had an aodlescne tocd tendencie.. but still OCD is mostly treatable..
CBT.. facing ur fears, then ur brain will see there is nothing to fear about..
if u got under some good meds and a good psychiatrist u could rly get better and see that its just irratinal thinking, it has to do wiht low serootonin levels in ur brain, look it up.. it's a mental disease in which u make irrational thoughts, ur def not a pedophile, would a pedophile give a damn?
and im kinda becomeing agnostic, and a lot of ppl are good ppl w/o god.. it
s kind of the way it needs to be for the world to work..so dont worry about god..
dont even start thinking that u have darained form gods ways cuz u dont believe in him and thats why ur a pedo.. ur not
Question: do u see a kid and then get scareed ll hurt ait and maybe aroused.. cuz pedo's.. there immediately arroused.. u first get the thought u could get arroused, think about it
and dont take other ppl's comments to seriously, ppl dont know what it's like
Felgen
Well-known member
A former friend of mine was in jail a while ago. He said that they had a buffet four times a day and that it wasn't so bad there. He didn't say anything about having to fight for his own survival. Furthermore, Norwegian jails and prisons have flatscreen televisions in every cell, nice furnitures in every cell and some even have video games in every cell. You get free access to the gym, you can borrow books for free and some even have swimming pools.
I'm not saying that anyone should turn to crime, though. This guy is unemployed because of his little vacation in the jail.
Felgen
Well-known member
Norwegian jails are confortable because the norwegian department of justice focuses more on rehabilitation than they do on punishment.
Lost Girl
Well-known member
Norwegian jails are confortable because the norwegian department of justice focuses more on rehabilitation than they do on punishment.
Free rent!
I've known a lot of people who've been to American jails and prisons. None of them had any desire to go back.
Lost Girl
Well-known member
frogger, u know this is typical OCD?
it'll be to late if u put urself in an asylum..
I'd say talk with a psych..
my brother had serious issues with giving someone a disease and he kept away.. but he did some results and they came back clean, he is apsoultey fine now(saw his thoughts were irratinal)
me i was a wash-aholic, scared of everyone, that somehthng would ruin me, i took my dirty hands and rubbed them all over my face, im not as kind as u r being worried about other ppl..
so u cant just spend time with children and see nothing will happen cuz u arent under any meds(cuz u would not be this sever if u were) and ud need tp plan it out wiht a psych, but beieve me u can win OCD.. trust me.. i might have had an aodlescne tocd tendencie.. but still OCD is mostly treatable..
CBT.. facing ur fears, then ur brain will see there is nothing to fear about..
if u got under some good meds and a good psychiatrist u could rly get better and see that its just irratinal thinking, it has to do wiht low serootonin levels in ur brain, look it up.. it's a mental disease in which u make irrational thoughts, ur def not a pedophile, would a pedophile give a damn?
and im kinda becomeing agnostic, and a lot of ppl are good ppl w/o god.. it
s kind of the way it needs to be for the world to work..so dont worry about god..
dont even start thinking that u have darained form gods ways cuz u dont believe in him and thats why ur a pedo.. ur not
Question: do u see a kid and then get scareed ll hurt ait and maybe aroused.. cuz pedo's.. there immediately arroused.. u first get the thought u could get arroused, think about it
and dont take other ppl's comments to seriously, ppl dont know what it's like
I know you're trying to help, but I think diagnosing this person whom you've never met, without any qualifications is a VERY dangerous thing. When I read his post, alarm bells instantly went off in my head. He is seriously frightened of hurting children and stated that he does find them sexually appealing. You could possibly be right, but he could also possibly be a pedophile as he suspects. Please be more cautious. This isn't a matter that should be taken so lightly.
Jesushasomeoneforme
Well-known member
I hate life too it's so lonely