I need advice on how to improve my social life

MiguelMS

New member
As a 19 year old I had a few experiences with women but nothing serious at all . The same could be said regarding friendships. I want to change that, find a girlfriend and have a small group of friends . Those are my social goals but I feel quite lost , without a chance and sometimes even unwhorty of it due to my lack of sense on how to engage in interactions in a manner that could make others interested in me. I am able to be polite , assertive and hold regular conversations but as time progress poeple start to percieve me as quiet and reserved to the point that the possibility of anything deeper start to vanish away.
And no wonder. I am actually introverted and my hobbies very solitaires: I like philosophy , psychology , literature , mythology and so on.
It is really a mystery to me how some individuals can reach such levels of intimacy with any apparent reason in a short period of time.
After summer I will attend university as a philosophy student but for now I work at home , go to the gym and sometimes to the library to educate myself; from time to time I also walk around parks and other natural enviroments, and that´s that.
I hate pubs , bars as well as dating sites . The only moments I see girls , they are either sweating in the gym , studying at the library or simply walking down the street . It doesn´t feel right to approach them for some reason (at least in those situations) , It makes me see myself as a fraud. What would I say to them anyways.
Well , If you have any ideas , please share it.
Thank you for the attention.
 
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Megaten

Well-known member
If youre going to a university you should have more opportunities to socialize with women in a more natural setting and with the same major. There will more than likely be clubs on campus you can join for various things. They try to make college a home away from home for the new students so they organize a lot of social related things that arent just bars and clubs. How to make chemistry happen between two people is a mystery to me though. I know a lot of the more bold people flirt, but not everyone is flirty or knows how to respond to it lol. I struggled making any lasting friendships in college outside of maybe 2.
 
Hello MiguelMS, since you don't like dating websites, I'd recommend you a platform called Meetup.

Depending on the theme you are interested in, you could meet new people and hitting two birds with one stone (A girl that shares your same interests).

I am attending two meetups every week, we usually gather in a café or near some fast-food, we talk about everything and nothing.

Good luck.
 

xiani

Member
I feel as if I'm in the same boat as you; I too am 19 and looking for a way to make new relationships and friendships. It's difficult to put myself out there, as I can feel extremely vulnerable in those situations. I mainly stay inside and be on my computer for hours upon end.

I'm going back to university this year too, and since the last time I went was unsuccessful with making new friends, I've found a few things out. For example, when making friends, the first few weeks are important because people can form groups and it can be difficult to go into a group that are now comfortable with one another. (I don't know if that's for everyone, but I definitely experienced it firsthand). I agree with Megaten, try finding someone in University, they'll be doing the same subject so at least there will be more to talk about.
 
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