I feel like i dont fit in anywhere.

veggielover

veggielover

Well-known member
There are times when I want to go out and be social, say go to party and drink, but when I ask my friends to hang out, they are already with their other, closer friends. Everyone still has their own little clicks and we're in college now. I've never really felt a part of a group and ive always had a hard time making friends. I feel like I'm surrounded by extroverted, outgoing people, but I'm the complete opposite. Introverted and quiet, and that's how everyone knows me.
I feel really intimidated by my own friends sometimes. I don't know if they know how I feel, like if they know im quiet a lot of the time because I'm uncomfortable or what.. I feel like i could find a group of friends where I could fit in way better and plus, my friends never want to do things that I want to do. I'm pretty spontaneous like I'll want to go swimming or biking at any given moment but my friends are never down. I want to find at least one friend who I can enjoy this with. This sucks. I feel so out of the loop and im stuck in this town with the same people I've known all my life. Anyone else feel the same way?
 
no1

no1

Banned
hey at least u went to a party. I dont know how to find out about parties and stuff.
 
K

kevinvincent86

Member
Finding people who are spontaneous is tough. Most seem to be driven by schedules, and feel it is unconventional to just go do something, or wander off on some adventure and see where it goes. I think some, perhaps subconsciously, feel that availability for spontaneous activities implies that they have no life.

Our culture seems to place a lot of importance on appearing important and in-demand, and I think it's getting worse with the cell phones, personal planners, blackberries, etc. If you can pencil someone in for a bike ride within less than a week, you must be some kind of loser or slacker.
 
S

Shinigami

Well-known member
During the holidays especially social events with friends like cinema going, paintballing or even a party seem to be few and far between. Although having said that when I organise one (fairly recent change to my 'normal' routine), ie. phone a few of 'em up to get together they very rarely turn down the offer. Quite often though I do feel a bit out of place in that many of my friends dont know my other friends all that well, and I dont know theres. It sorta feels like im drifting between groups of friends who all know each other well, and then theres me having friends but often only knowing that person or one other from their friend group.
 
this_portrait

this_portrait

Well-known member
I'm still searching for a little niche that I can fit into, one that I can always be around and not have to worry about intruding on them.
 
M

mitchellb999

Well-known member
kevinvincent86 said:
Finding people who are spontaneous is tough. Most seem to be driven by schedules, and feel it is unconventional to just go do something, or wander off on some adventure and see where it goes. I think some, perhaps subconsciously, feel that availability for spontaneous activities implies that they have no life.

Our culture seems to place a lot of importance on appearing important and in-demand, and I think it's getting worse with the cell phones, personal planners, blackberries, etc. If you can pencil someone in for a bike ride within less than a week, you must be some kind of loser or slacker.
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I miss the days when only the elites had cell phones. So many people are attached to their phones every second nowadays.
 
agoraphobickatie

agoraphobickatie

Well-known member
endymion, i'm sure you fit in with the rest of us! we all have the same kind of problems! what do you mean you don't get quoted, i guess i'm new here.. i don't see other people getting quoted or myself either =/ haha
 
Jake123

Jake123

Banned
Endymion said:
I feel the same way, I don't even fit on this forum. I never get quoted as much as everyone else and my threads go unnoticed or ignored. I just don't fit anywhere really.
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Pfft you fit in fine, and I always read your posts. Us Miamians gotta stick together :p
 
Jake123

Jake123

Banned
Endymion said:
Man, I'm sorry about today btw, I just had a family thing but I wont give you excuses cause I hate that. In spite of having a busy week (school, job interviews), I will try to be more committed to our meeting since yes, we do need to stick together! Perhaps we can build some sort of friendship, which I need around here.

Will bump that thread this week and best regards.
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It's okay, though as sad as this sounds it's the only thing I have looked forward to for a long time lol
Don't worry about it though
 
K

klopez25

New member
omg veggielover i feel as though we are the same person. Everything you said describes exactly how I feel about my friends...i just don't know what to do...::(:
 
shore_of_glass

shore_of_glass

Well-known member
I can relate.

I have my small group of close friends.... ok, 2 friends whose interests differ a little from mine.
And then I meet other people who have a lifestyle that I'd like to have and do things I'd like to try to do. But, as you said, those people have their own group of friends.

Maybe I should be grateful for the friends I have, but I feel like I'm inside a shell, wanting to come out.
 
D

da_illest101

Well-known member
I completely know what you mean, I haven't seen my best friend in over a year, we only talk but never do stuff together. My ex female best friend ... i don't want to talk about her anymore. I have one friend that i can actually do stuff with but the rest they pretty much have they own lives and i never feel like i'm fitting with almost every group i encountered
 
SickCycleCarousel

SickCycleCarousel

Well-known member
I can definitely relate.
I don't fit in anywhere either. I don't have any friends (except the one I have online =\ ) and my siblings don't like to do anything with me. I don't like to do anything alone...I feel too awkward if I don't have someone to talk to. I, too, can be quite spontaneous despite being a bit agoraphobic.
 
Marletta

Marletta

Active member
I don't get this, you actually have friends. Quite a few of us don't.
In this situation, you maybe too self-conscious (sp) and too worried about what others think.
I gave up going out with coworkers because I know I just don't fit in. Don't force yourself on people that don't want you there. And, don't take it personally. It's hard, I know. I try to fit in and it doesn't work. I worry that I don't get asked any where but realize it's not me. The whole world doesn't worry about me or care about me; it doesn't revolve around me. When you are comfortable being with yourself, by yourself, then things will fall into place. When you feel confident about yourself, it will show. People will be attracted to that. That all comes from within.
 
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