I have terrible social anxiety and it's because of the way my mother makes me dress. She's convinced that the slightest chill will get me sick so on all but the hottest days she makes me wear a knee length puffy coat and rubber rain boots. I always feel embarrassed when I'm outside in my coat and boots while everyone else is wearing summer clothes. This has pretty much left me socially crippled.
I blame my social anxiety on my mum
- Thread starter Diden32
- Start date
Jungle
1
Deep down, a mother always wants what's good for her children, usually in an overprotective way.
My mother always expects me to hug her and kiss her whenever we part, even though I am not a kid anymore, it can be extremely embarrassing in public.
I think you should talk to her to explain how uncomfortable you feel, I've done it many times myself, and yet she can't help it, I guess it's in a mother's nature.
My mother always expects me to hug her and kiss her whenever we part, even though I am not a kid anymore, it can be extremely embarrassing in public.
I think you should talk to her to explain how uncomfortable you feel, I've done it many times myself, and yet she can't help it, I guess it's in a mother's nature.
Whenever I try talking to her about it she just says I'll get sick if I don't wear my clothes. I feel so self conscious when I go outside, especially in winter when I have to bundle up even more.
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
I'd just change clothes once I was out of sight.
It's not fair that your mother's issue is becoming yours.
It's not fair that your mother's issue is becoming yours.
Miserum
Well-known member
As Jungle mentioned, confrontation is probably a good idea first. Maybe you can compromise with her by running an experiment:
1 week you go out with normal weather appropriate clothing and SHOW your mom that you didn't get sick from being outside without winter clothing on.
Furthermore, if she's a germaphobe and thinks that keeping you away from germs is healthy at your (probably) young age, she's wrong. If you're never exposed to germs you may develop a weak immune system, which could compromise your health as an adult.
Read more about it here:
Are We Too Clean? Letting Kids Get Dirty and Germy
Barring any abnormal health issues, if she's still unreasonable it might be time for you to rebel and dress the way you want to without her permission.
1 week you go out with normal weather appropriate clothing and SHOW your mom that you didn't get sick from being outside without winter clothing on.
Furthermore, if she's a germaphobe and thinks that keeping you away from germs is healthy at your (probably) young age, she's wrong. If you're never exposed to germs you may develop a weak immune system, which could compromise your health as an adult.
Read more about it here:
Are We Too Clean? Letting Kids Get Dirty and Germy
Barring any abnormal health issues, if she's still unreasonable it might be time for you to rebel and dress the way you want to without her permission.
I've thought about doing that, but I'm always nervous that she would find out.
I doubt I could convince her, I already have asthma so she's always too concerned about my health.
Ads7800
Well-known member
It's hard with an overprotective mother to feel you could step up and just say or do what you need to feel more in control of your life.
If you do speak up about feeling smothered or belittled by her overprotection of you, it may at least start her thinking she needs to give you space. It's worth considering.
Have a good day, mate.
If you do speak up about feeling smothered or belittled by her overprotection of you, it may at least start her thinking she needs to give you space. It's worth considering.
Have a good day, mate.
It's raining here today so there was no chance my mum would let me out without my coat and boots. I just hate how overprotective she is, and she thinks what she's doing is a good thing.
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
You sound just like me, Diden. My mum was exactly the same until I asked her how she'd expected me to cope when she passes away. As well as telling her that I don't need to be told what to do all the time. And telling her I was an adult now, in case she hadn't noticed.
So, I know how annoying it can be to have an overprotective parent who thinking they're doing right. Believe you me. Though, I agree with Ads7800's advice to about speaking up and telling her how you're feeling.
Otherwise, she won't change her ways. And you might end up snapping at her one day, like I did with my mum. So, don't do that! Instead, just say that you know she means well, but she doesn't need to be so overprotective of you all the time.
How would you suggest going about it? Every time I talk to her about how she makes me dress she just always brings up my asthma and how I will get sick if I don't listen to her. She pretty much tells me that I don't have a choice and I have to wear my winter coat even in the summer. I wouldn't feel embarrassed about it in the winter, but when it's cold outside she makes me wear so many layers that I still stick out like sore thumb because of what I'm wearing.
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
If you don't mind me asking, how old are you, Diden?
I'm almost 15
Graeme1988
Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well, do you have an inhaler for your asthma? If so, tell her you will always have it with you when you're outside. Tell her you feel embarrassed wearing a winter coat in the summer.
Tell her you feel she worries a bit too much about you. But you understand that she means well. At least, that what it sounds. I mean, if she's a reasonable enough woman, she should really listen to what you want. And no offence here, it sounds like she being quite controlling and not allowing you to have a say. Just because she is your mum, doesn't mean she's always right.
Oh, and mainly, just tell her how what you'd prefer to wear. Or try to come to compromise on the layers so you don't draw attention to yourself when out and about? :thinking:
FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
Ah, I see.
It's gonna be tough until you're able to drive. Your mom will probably start to lighten up once you get some independence.
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FountainandFairfax
in a VAN down by the RIVER
You could also feign a heat stroke from having to wear all that sh!t in the summer.
Is she not concerned about the high temps?
Is she not concerned about the high temps?
I'm gonna try having a conversation with her tomorrow when she insists on me wearing the puffy coat, but honestly I doubt it will go differently this time.
On days that it's above 20C she won't make me wear my puffy coat, usually just a rain coat if it's raining.
my parents were they main cause of my phobia too