How to properly react to rude people

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Harrassed in what sense? Because retaliation can sometimes make it worse, I know from experience. 8O

tehStranger said:

When harassed by childish adults, what is the best counter?

I ignore them, but they don't seem to get the hint.

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The best 'counter' is to act in the way that makes what they're doing have the least effect on YOU and how you feel about YOURSELF.

If that means leaving the room, do it.
If that means ignoring them, do it.
If that means rolling with the punches and taking the jokes or mockery into the realm of the absurd, do it.

In my opinion its best to join in if you can, learn to laugh at yourself in the sense that if a joke is made about you just go with it, then give somthing back...

The more they see that it annoys you the more they will keep it going and get more enjoyment from it.

I have met people through friends who I have not gotten on with from the word go simply because we are too different types of person I am well mannered, polite and not the laddish type. On the occasion I met some friends of friends for a night out (3 of them) I tried to get on with them but there intimidating immature laddish behavior towards me rubbed me the wrong way which resulted into an argument simply because there too bulchy and arrogant to understand you cant just go around acting the way they do and pic on some people just because there actually civilized and mature and sensible.
Needless to say I saw the same guy who was the main instigator of all the grief towards me, I saw him out and about alone not too long after that night I saw him and went out of my way to look him in the eyes as he walked past. and you know what? he was as meek as a lamb. LOL just shows he's all that when theres people are behind him but when alone he just a chickens**t little bitch.

There is a scene in one of the crocodile dundee films that I love - when mick dundee sees the woman he clearly loves has just been asked to be married by someone else and she has seemingly said yes - he just chats to the person next to him with a smile - she looks at him smiling and chatting - seemingly not bothered - which makes her feel somewhat bothered, but deep down he is sad.

Best way to ever react to anything that warrants a reaction when things are going against you - smile and get on with things with something totally unrelated, seemingly totally unfased by it. Fantastic! If someone wants a reaction out of you when its going against you - don't give them it, its just got to hurt!

I wish all those *******'s who did their best to make me feel like s*** with their insults, name calling and put downs - I wish I could just take no notice and be laughing and smiling at something else - showing I wasn't even giving them time of day, that is how you react to scum!

Remember - the only people worth getting upset and hurt about are those you care about. If you don't care about them - don't care less what they say or do, they are worthless.

Even the most confident of people in this world go through some types of abuse but it doesnt phase them. Its a fact that its impossible for ANYBODY to go through life without any form of abuse at one time or another. People that ooze self esteem and confidence sometimes get riddiculed or laughed at but the second they "take it in" is ones demise. Those types of ultra confident people "turn off" to that sort of thing which helps fuel there confidence.

I guess its a case of programming ones mind to not be phased by anything negative. Random things like name calling is often rife in todays society like if a young guy happens to walk past a bunch of 16 year old girls or something, 9 times out of 10 they'll be subject to some sorts of remarks by them and not all of them bieng good. Its wrong and chickens**t but its how people are (immature people) and the case of bieng in the wrong place at the wrong time. Even the toughest son of a bitch in the world couldnt stand upto and beat 9 or 10 other guys randomly making fun of him. Seems your overly sensitive Jim. (no offence I am too. A small insult to me goes along way in terms of the damage it does.)

Milkdrops - you are right in what you say - I was hugely over sensitive, but I am doing a fantastic job at overcoming that.

I think people will not be hurt about comments if they have self belief and are not insecure about the things they say. If a group shouted to you that you have a really crap hairstyle or you have a big chin - which I am hoping are not reflectant of reality to you - you will laugh it off. You see its only attacking insecurities that seem to hurt.

I must say the prospect of Revenge is one that overwhelms me alot when I think about people wronging me in the past. Sometimes if i'm treated wrongly and I know i'm the one who didnt do anything to warrant anything bad, it makes my blood boil. But then I think i'm not going to go down for assault or whatnot for what some piece of s**t immature prick trying to look tough in front of his friends. Quite simply put: there not worth it.

Anyone know of the Daniel Pollen murder? where a young guy of 20 was randomly killed whilst waiting for a lift home in the early hours of the morning in London by 3 guys (1 with a knife) Anyway it seemed to touch a nerve with me as it was just so infuriating and chickens**t. But in this world sadly there are assholes out there and there isnt much the average person can do about it. Needless to say the 3 that did the evil Daniel Pollen killing were all sent down for murder. which made my day.

Milkdrops said:

Anyone know of the Daniel Pollen murder? where a young guy of 20 was randomly killed whilst waiting for a lift home in the early hours of the morning in London by 3 guys (1 with a knife) Anyway it seemed to touch a nerve with me as it was just so infuriating and chickens**t.

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This is the sort of extreme harrassment which is dangerous to retaliate to. Random incidents in the street can turn very violent; esp with the very very young ones now. I know of an incident in my town where 3 university students were stabbed, one to death I think, by a gang of about 20 teenagers. That touched a nerve with me too because I was a student at the time and had been harrassed by people younger than myself, well, you get the idea. Anyway, basically I retaliated to come rude comments they made towards me and they went BESERK, they LOVED it: it was as if their aggresiveness had suddenly been validated by my sticking my middle finger up at them.

The situation with people closer to you is different of course. And then there are massive grey areas, like the in-laws (blurgh!) and work mates.

Ah how I love revenge movies. :twisted:

Sorry, yeah, just ignore them as best you can and discard their useless comments. tehStranger are these people who are bugging you around you quite often?

20 teenagers on 3. Hmm how brave. You can probably bet most of those teenagers especially the ones that commited the stabbings, will end up in prison before there even adults and then the real toughguy test will reveal all. They'll each see how well they do in there against real toughguys without there weapons and there 19 other friends backing them up. Pu**ys.

To answer your question...no this doesnt happen often but when it does it annoys me. Its just a case of bieng in the wrong place at the wrong time. I kind of live close to a city which has a bad reputation for its amount of troublemakers and pure scum so I dont tend to go there as much now. I dont think anyone does come to think of it.

depends on the situation....

It all depends on the situation and if it's in friendly fun or if somebody (or group) is being a complete asshole. I have dealt with it all, and also have given it back pretty good...to the point where i become the nasty one to finish it. . The most important thing to remember is this= you set the precedent. Deal with it in the most positive way and with class, or confront it head on and show you won't take no bullshit. Nip it in the bud before it takes root, or you will find that those that taunt you will always try to push you, too see how far they can get before you snap..just because they can! I tell you guys something tho....most of the bullying and critisism...it is really a reflection of the person handing it out...something they don't like within themselves. If you understand what i mean, and you can recognize it...you can , if you wish, use their own words against them and they will think about it--and shut up. Most times, it is just jerks repeating what was said to them..and they need to feel ''better'', by be-littleing the next victim....becuz deep down inside, they know they got nothing much else going, just like a sack of shit that they are. :twisted: :wink: