How are you feeling?

Ads7800

Well-known member
Feeling that I've wasted the last ten years by not trying hard enough. Living at home at 34 with debt, no savings and a low paying job isn't exactly ideal.

Damn this social phobia! I just hope I can turn it around somehow :sad:
 

AtTheGates

Banned
This is a good thing..even if she didn't have any other talents at all (which she DOES) , it wouldnt matter because she's still doing the right thing..im sure some people laugh at this kind of thing but oh well. Whats good about her is she's speaking from her HEART, nowhere else...Sometimes people forget to do that...sometimes that doesnt get you all the likes on Facebook..lol

nuns are like sisters to people who dont HAVE sisters irl.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCCsRXxkuE4&t=39s
 
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AtTheGates

Banned
apparently there was a church shooting today. Theres not much information on it yet but I'm assuming the church may not have had adequate security .
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Bored to f*ckin buggery with my stupid f*ckin life. :thumbdown:

Same here. :thumbdown: Bored to **** with my current situation in fact, but I'm not allowed to change it. Cuz my family feel that they matter more as collective than I do as an individual. :kickingmyself:
 

defiance

Well-known member
I can't do anything right. Every time that I try my best, I always end up coming up short. I TRULY TRULY TRULY wish I was never born. This life has been nothing but pain and misery. What's worse is that I don't see an end in sight.:crying:
 
https://youtu.be/PZiqhf4o4Hw

I saw this movie a few weeks ago called Nocturnal Animals - I loved it. I think I tend to gravitate toward dark and depressing things naturally. It was one of those movies that left you thinking about it days later - I love movies like that.

Tomorrow is my very first day of school - I am so nervous. I think I will be fine, but that doesn't help with my nerves. I am excited to be starting my education journey, though. I can't wait to help people - that is the point of all of this. I want to go on medical mission trips and to make a real difference in the world. Although, making bank will be nice - it's just a large collection of fabric infused paper. I know that I will get way more out of this than I give. Hopefully I can manifest going to school full time without having to work - I want to have a 4.0 GPA and possibly be the valedictorian. We'll see, I guess.
 
I can't do anything right. Every time that I try my best, I always end up coming up short. I TRULY TRULY TRULY wish I was never born. This life has been nothing but pain and misery. What's worse is that I don't see an end in sight.:crying:

Have you tried CBT or REBT? I'm trying, although it is a very slow process, because it's trying to change thinking habits of a lifetime. Ideally, i'd like to be able to think in a CBT-like fashion all of the time. But for now, i only do it when sth noticeable happens (an "event"); i need to try to do it simply when i'm feeling bad.
 

defiance

Well-known member
Have you tried CBT or REBT? I'm trying, although it is a very slow process, because it's trying to change thinking habits of a lifetime. Ideally, i'd like to be able to think in a CBT-like fashion all of the time. But for now, i only do it when sth noticeable happens (an "event"); i need to try to do it simply when i'm feeling bad.

The only thing that works is when I drink. I rarely do it but sometimes I am in more mental anguish than I can handle and that's when I go for the bottle for some relief. I have also been looking into pot. Probably won't smoke pot but I have read how beneficial it can be in these cases. I honestly don't know what to do anymore man. People are getting fed up with me because I can't do anything, they don't know of my issues because I know they won't understand. Also my mental issues are starting to affect me physically. From headaches, to stomach cramps, to my body feeling cold and numb as if I was a corpse. I just wish I didn't have to suffer so much.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Tired of having to listen to my mother complain all the time. :kickingmyself: She just won't shut up. D'ye not think that this current situation isn't causing me stress as well?

On the plus side, my middle sister appears to have mellowed when it comes to getting her point across by yelling and shouting her head off. Or so I've been told by the eldest sibling, but ah couldnae gie a f*ck this point. As, to me, she will forever be the spoiled brat who got everything done for her. Cuz that's how selfless our mum is... Always puts other ahead of herself. But hey, I'm guessin' a thirty-something woman who has more shoes than feet to f*ckin' wear 'em cannae quite see that? :eek:h: :thumbdown:

Ah still don't get how I'm the bad guy in this clan? :idontknow:
 

AtTheGates

Banned
some americans complain about our country all the time but they take for granted the luxuries/privileges that we all have in america.


excerpt from this article: "Earlier this month, a Saudi cleric was banned from preaching after saying that women should not be allowed to drive because their brains shrink to quarter the size of a man’s when they go shopping"


https://www.theguardian.com/world/2...ias-king-issues-order-allowing-women-to-drive

im glad our country has a foundation of judeo-chrisitan values also. Thats another thing that some people dont appreciate but at the end of the day its one of the things that puts the civilized world head and shoulders above other countries.
 
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defiance

Well-known member
I have been feeling like death for a few days now. My demons are torturing me more than usual. All day I feel severe anxiety to the point where my entire body goes cold and numb. Then there is the depression and my suicidal thoughts are getting worse even though I try the best that I can to make progress in some ways. The kicker was that the last 2 weeks have been the time for people to truly let me know what a loser and a worthless person I really am. I deserve it but I mean it's not like I do it on purpose. I have my limitations due to my condition and I try but.......what can I do. When you are in a state like this, this is why the thought of suicide is such a relief. Aside to putting an end to your pain, it gives you the feeling that you are in control of your own life. You are in the drivers seat for once and you can choose when and how to end it. Sorry for the rant but I am just not well. All I can say is that I need a miracle before November and I'll leave it at that.:sad:
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
I'm done with life. What the point anymore? :idontknow:

My anxiety is apparently just an excuse to do bugger all. My physical and leaning disabilities? Same as the aforementioned anxiety. Gotta love how my family will say to me how they get how difficult it must be for me. Yet, they then turn around and call me a liar, lazy, ungrateful and uncaring, etc? :confused: I like to think my actions and honesty say otherwise, but f*ck it! It's been the norm in ma family to despise the opposite sex - only if yer women mind you - since I was 8 years old. Don't feel sorry for me, ya get used to be the perpetual scapegoat. Can't do right for doing wrong it seems.

Personally, I genuinely believe they'd be better off and much happier if I were never born. I'm just a burden to them anyhow. :sad: They sure as f*ck don't treat me like their son or brother.
 

cappatown420

Well-known member
The only thing that works is when I drink. I rarely do it but sometimes I am in more mental anguish than I can handle and that's when I go for the bottle for some relief. I have also been looking into pot. Probably won't smoke pot but I have read how beneficial it can be in these cases. I honestly don't know what to do anymore man. People are getting fed up with me because I can't do anything, they don't know of my issues because I know they won't understand. Also my mental issues are starting to affect me physically. From headaches, to stomach cramps, to my body feeling cold and numb as if I was a corpse. I just wish I didn't have to suffer so much.

Pot helps me with stomach issues (great for nausea) and also helps my general mood. I over use it, but honestly it seems to work better than my medication.
 

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Pot helps me with stomach issues (great for nausea) and also helps my general mood. I over use it, but honestly it seems to work better than my medication.

My cousin is a... marijuana enthusiast, lol. It just so happens that I was talking with him last night about maybe getting me some weed next week. It would be a lot cheaper than prescription meds and therapy, that's for sure.

I've been pushing myself to get out more lately anyway, and I've found that I can actually do more than I give myself credit for. It's a little easier when you get older because the need to look your best and be cool all the damn time is gone.
 

cappatown420

Well-known member
My cousin is a... marijuana enthusiast, lol. It just so happens that I was talking with him last night about maybe getting me some weed next week. It would be a lot cheaper than prescription meds and therapy, that's for sure.

I've been pushing myself to get out more lately anyway, and I've found that I can actually do more than I give myself credit for. It's a little easier when you get older because the need to look your best and be cool all the damn time is gone.

Have you tried weed before?
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Apparently, I'm not anxious - just lazy. Not depressed - just attention-seeking... Oh, and men don't take their own lives to a greater overall rate than women. Guess I'm just faking my disability as well, huh?!

Having family support is great! :thumbdown: :kickingmyself: But hey, no-one really cares about each other anymore, do they?
:sad:
 
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