How are you feeling?

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Well this expression pretty sums it up: Ow, ya f*kin' b@$%@*d! By Christ, those outer forearm tattoos are a lot more painful than they look.
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Hot_Tamale

Well-known member
@Graeme
Yea, there isn't as much fat on the lower extremeties as there is elsewhere on the body to cushion the pain as much. Should I ever get a tattoo of my own, thank you for the warning :)

Are you gonna post a picture of it?

My 200th post!
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
@Graeme
Yea, there isn't as much fat on the lower extremeties as there is elsewhere on the body to cushion the pain as much.

Ah'll keep that in mind if ah ever get a tattoo on the lower parts of my body.

Should I ever get a tattoo of my own, thank you for the warning :)

Nae bother. :thumbup: Heed that warning, though. Seriously. Also, start small if you every do decide to get a tattoo. Don't be a big dumb eejit, like me, and go for pieces that mean sitting through 2 hours of pain, each session. :eek:h: Twisting yer arm this way n' that way. :giggle:

Unless you've got a high pain threshold I don't recommend it. Oh, and make sure you go with a tattoo artist or studio with a good portfolio, as fair as the quality goes. Since it's better to have confidence in the person doing the tattoo before getting any done.

Are you gonna post a picture of it?

Aye, at some point. The guy who done for me actually took a photo of it, himself, with his phone shortly after finishing it. Turned out quite well - a lotta blood, though. So, he'll probably upload it to his tattoo studio's Facebook page - as he does with most tattoos he's done. If he uploads it, I'll link it and post a photo in my own thread. If not, I'll take a photo of it myself in a few days time.
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
This going to sound awful, but... I hate my mother. :kickingmyself: Urrgh!! She such a dour, pessimistic, hateful person. Rare says any remotely upbeat or cheerful. Always complains endless about how shit her life is. And it's only me who has to put with the tolerate this pityful shite-talk. She doesnae act like this around my sisters. No, no! Cuz apparently, if you've a ****** in my family, onto the pedestal of perfection ye go, hen! Thou can do no wrong in thy mother's eyes.

But I'll get shit for simply refusing to be pressured into doing something if I don't feel like it. According to my mum and sisters, that's a form of sexism, supposedly. :idontknow: :eek:h: But hey, nevermind the amount of time I've sacrified to them happy and content - or any extra effort that's taken on my part. F**k the fact that my mental health has severely suffered as a result, over the last 12 years. Slowly but silently, because I'm never allowed to say "No" or put myself first, once in awhile. Let alone admit that I'm struggling at the best o' times. :sad:

And I'm getting sick of being the person everyone turns to for help, and takes advantage of. I'm the one who's expected to sympathetic towards my own family when they just whing and complain, endlessly.

Only reason you never hear me complain about how shit my life is, is because I'm fully aware and have accept that ma life is utter shite. Has been from a young age, so I've had plenty o' time to get used to it. But they'll never return any of that in kind. No-one ever truly listens to me when I say I'm feeling depressed. I mean, they say they do, but really. they just want something or someone else to gossip about behind yer back. No-one's ever willing to help me out when ask for help.

Sorry for the rant - just needed to vent.
 

defiance

Well-known member
Woke up in the middle of the night to get some water. Then went back to bed and right when I wanted to close my eyes and go back to sleep BOOM PANIC ATTACK............. I have also been feeling extremely depressed anxious and suicidal these last 4 days. These feelings are always there but these last few days have been other worldly. I have seriously been contemplating the thought of ending it more so than ever. I mean really what is the point when you know how everyday is going to turn out. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT. A huge mental breakdown is coming my way I can feel it. I hate being me and I hate what my presence on this planet has done to those who are close to me. I NEED MY PAIN TO END...IT'S NOT FAIR. IT'S JUST SO UN FU*KING FAIR THAT PEOPLE LIKE US HAVE TO HURT SO MUCH.
 
This going to sound awful, but... I hate my mother. :kickingmyself: Urrgh!! She such a dour, pessimistic, hateful person. Rare says any remotely upbeat or cheerful. Always complains endless about how shit her life is. And it's only me who has to put with the tolerate this pityful shite-talk. She doesnae act like this around my sisters. No, no! Cuz apparently, if you've a ****** in my family, onto the pedestal of perfection ye go, hen! Thou can do no wrong in thy mother's eyes.

But I'll get shit for simply refusing to be pressured into doing something if I don't feel like it. According to my mum and sisters, that's a form of sexism, supposedly. :idontknow: :eek:h: But hey, nevermind the amount of time I've sacrified to them happy and content - or any extra effort that's taken on my part. F**k the fact that my mental health has severely suffered as a result, over the last 12 years. Slowly but silently, because I'm never allowed to say "No" or put myself first, once in awhile. Let alone admit that I'm struggling at the best o' times. :sad:

And I'm getting sick of being the person everyone turns to for help, and takes advantage of. I'm the one who's expected to sympathetic towards my own family when they just whing and complain, endlessly.

Only reason you never hear me complain about how shit my life is, is because I'm fully aware and have accept that ma life is utter shite. Has been from a young age, so I've had plenty o' time to get used to it. But they'll never return any of that in kind. No-one ever truly listens to me when I say I'm feeling depressed. I mean, they say they do, but really. they just want something or someone else to gossip about behind yer back. No-one's ever willing to help me out when ask for help.

Sorry for the rant - just needed to vent.
It is very sad to read how much your family only ever has a negative effect on your mental health, Graeme. : (
If anyone deserves a supportive family, it is you.
 

AtTheGates

Banned
I dont want to feel THIS alone for the rest of my life...



These kinds of feelings have been getting worse at NIGHT recently . idk why. I just start worrying that all never have permanent friends and ill never have a wife.

i'll start thinking about all the mean things people have said to me over the years. for example: one time I was telling someone about all the owls that nest around my neighborhood during a certain time of the year and she said "at least you have birds for friends" or something like that ...now at night whenever i hear one it makes me think of what she said and how lonely I am...especially because of the fact that I dont hear from her at all anymore...
 
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defiance

Well-known member
The more I partake in activities the worse I feel. I don't FU*KING GET IT MAN. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? I get out there I talk to people even thought it kills me on the inside and I basically try to interact with the world as much as I can. But somehow I always end up feeling worse for doing it. Short of some kind of godly miracle, I can't see how I am going to survive in this world much longer.:sad:
 
I dont want to feel THIS alone for the rest of my life...

These kinds of feelings have been getting worse at NIGHT recently . idk why. I just start worrying that all never have permanent friends and ill never have a wife.

I've accepted i'll probably always be this alone, etc.

But that doesn't stop me pining/obsessing over women i see in real life. I'm forced to either look at porn/pictures, or else try to divert my attention (playing games is good). That's the best it will most likely be. Often it stresses me; occasionally it saddens me. :thumbdown:
 

AtTheGates

Banned
I've accepted i'll probably always be this alone, etc.

But that doesn't stop me pining/obsessing over women i see in real life. I'm forced to either look at porn/pictures, or else try to divert my attention (playing games is good). That's the best it will most likely be. Often it stresses me; occasionally it saddens me. :thumbdown:


dont accept it. dont give in like that . maybe you CAN find someone eventually.
 
dont accept it. dont give in like that . maybe you CAN find someone eventually.

If nothing changes, nothing changes...

Therapy is really my last hope. Whether it can effect any changes in me is the big question .. as i am pretty solidly stuck in my ways...
 
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Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Not great. Really nervous about today. Eh, pretty sure my family are going to let me down and disappoint me again - as they always do when they promise me something. :sad:

Other than that, I'm getting fed-up with feigning stupidity bulls*it I'm having tolerate from the women in my family. Meaning I have to everything myself, since I can't even ask a simple question or for help with get the usually shoulder-shrugging response. :idontknow:

Yet, they keep telling me they're staunch feminists - my mum and older sisters. But they not exactly showing it comes to do stuff themselves, they're always asking me to help. :eek:h: Well, I say "ask", it's more begging really.

Not to complain, but it's f**kin' stressful when you gotta rely upon yourself as a disabled person, and figure shit out that ye should've been taught by now. No-one to help ye. Cuz, sadly, the woman who did a shitty job, as far as parenting goes, is more concerned with her needs and well-being than that of her physically disabled son. But the only son has to be always willing to help everyone - otherwise he's a selfish wee fud.

No worries though, excuses for these double standards will always be made, as feminists gets a free pass for their behaviour - at least from my experience. The lesson being, never take responsibility for your words or actions, no matter how much hurt you may cause another person. Just blame the men in yer life, that's what they're there for.

Not that that's right by any mean - it's just the lie and deny mentality I grew-up with. And, I know, being self-taught is a good, praise-worthy thing, but, it get tiresome after awhile and puts a lotta strain on ye mentally.

Sorry for yet another, quite personal rant. It's just... Well, a lot is weighing me down at the moment. Can't seems to get any relief or rest bite from it.
 

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
It is very sad to read how much your family only ever has a negative effect on your mental health, Graeme. : (
If anyone deserves a supportive family, it is you.

Wouldn't say they only have a overall negative affect, but they do struggle when it comes to being supportive. Since I shouldn't be depressed or anxious, apparently.

But it's frustratingly difficult having to listen to my elderly mum bemoan and complain about her problem to me all the time, while admitting she's too lazy to change. But she's always upbeat and happy around my sisters or other relatives. But I'll get in the neck with the "Everything's shite! Ah hate ma life. This town is a shithole", etc and other tangents which I can, sadly, quote from memory, verbatim. To which I just roll my eyes, I sigh to myself, and retreat to my bedroom, asking why I even bother saying anything postive.

So, not exactly the easiest parent or person to live with. Despite her claim that in me who's difficult to live with. Which, if that's the case, sorry for having similar personality traits to my father, as far as what I expect from those around me. In terms of how I treat them and they treat me. But then, my immediate family are always expecting way too much, and take advantage of me.

Yet I always the one has to lower my standards to mediority and make expectations of what I expect from them pretty much non-existent. Too the point where I can't even ask them to do something for me without them either not bothering, and making excuse for this, or them, outright, refusing to listening to me. :kickingmyself: But, somehow, it's always me who's at fault. The bad guy, the arsehole, the selfish *****, y'know?

Despite being the person who has pick up slack. Being the only f**ker who has the drive and motivation to make sure shit gets done. Without making excuse or complaining. Coming to think of it, that's probably why they keep telling me that they wouldnae know what to do without me.

Graeme you are funny with all these smileys !!! especially the foreign ones

Yeah, those other smileys are pretty funny. As for me being funny, I'd have to humbly disagree on that yin.
 
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