Hello there, hope your ok
I'm so sorry for being rude and frank if you don't mind me asking .how old are you?
I'm so truly sorry you are in the same boat as me .. its not nice at all I'm 23 myself and have always knew I was more into myself so I have never really enjoyed going out but I did when I had school friends back in 2005 I left so now I have no one and at the mo am happy with just chatting online as things like facebook texting calling seeing people it just all feels awkward for me .. I'm the same I only go out shopping with my mother never used the check out myself I only put the stuff on the check out mother pays if theres something I want il go home and order online even if that means paying more as I don't wanna feel like a dick and be at the centre of attention .. this truly feels like the only place I can take off my mask and be myself and tell people the truth as I chat online as it sometime gets boring but have to lie to make me sound normal to people like oh yeah iv been out to a family bbq ... What a load of rubbish that's why phantom of the opera is my fav as its so weird telling people the truth for being ridiculed for being a freak I truly feel this is the only place where I can truly take off my mask and be myself and tell people me me with sa
Sunday (today)
staid in bed all day naked as it is the only way to sleep
Got dressed went downstairs for roast meal ate it came back upstairs
Been messing around online (mostly YouTube) all day
it feels like time is standing still like groundhog day my friends even my younger sister is out the house own flat baby talk of getting married and I'm stuck here (same is my older brother so yes it must pass down the family line)
and sadly even worse my mother was knocked down by a knobhead on a push bike 3years ago and now she is starting to loss her short term memory doctors say in years to come she will have to go into a home and she might not even remember my own name
So I'm ****ed truly and royal ****ed my mum that does so much for me we one day be gone and I am all left alone
so yes its hard
seeing pics on facebook of friends on holiday with there girlfriends or out clubbing .. or skydiving ..
And even when these friends do come over once in a blue moon I just feel like there come to rub it all into my face show off the new 4x4 New girlfriend so on
Like you I don't wanna a life of jumping out of plans or swimming with sharks .. I want a simple life living in australia running my business and taking romantic walks along the beach hand in hand as the sun starts to set cuddling up on the sofa and camping in the bush
Wish I was never born with sa
much love
Ukmale
SA is such a b*tch isn't it? I know i could be doing so many things if i didn't suffer from it. I know what you mean about doing simple things, like signing for the post etc I can't even go shopping by myself because the anxiety is just too strong. I just want to be normal and do normal things. I don't even want an extraordinary life, i just want a normal one.