Do you take things personally?

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Nina09 said:

How does one suddenly stop taking things personally?

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It won't happen suddenly. It's a gradual process of strengthening your self-esteem and counteracting reactionary habits with reason. It's good practice to think of a time you took something personally and figure out what assumptions lead you to do so. That is, not just knowing that you reacted inappropriately, but knowing why. Over time, you can end up seeing how often it comes down to a small number of patterns. The next time you feel yourself taking something personally you can check yourself against that list of patterns, and bolstered by the knowledge that that pattern leads to a negative reaction, you can stop yourself.

Nina09 said:

What expectations are realistic to have concerning other people?

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This depends very much on the situation and your relationship with those people. As a general rule, I try to keep expectations low, or at least lower than what I feel others can expect from me. A lot of people simply say they demand from others what they demand from themselves, but I think that philosophy ignores the fact that circumstance plays as large a role, if not larger, than intention, in what people can actually deliver on.

Nina09 said:

I've done a lot of soul searching, and I've realized that most of my problems are a result of two things.

1. Taking things personally

2. Unrealistic Expectations of other people

Now that I am aware that I do this, what steps do I take to change it?

How does one suddenly stop taking things personally?

What expectations are realistic to have concerning other people?

Also, how do you get rid of the resentment you feel towards others based on these two things?

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i can't say i have figured this out yet but there is an audio series i have been listening and there is a specific cd mentioning this things.i think it will help you if u can find it.it's called guy finley-secrets of being unstoppable and it's on the 3rd and 5th cd

Nina09 said:

1. Taking things personally

2. Unrealistic Expectations of other people

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Yes. I take everything personally. I am really sensitive to other people's reactions to me. For example, if I say hello to someone and they just look at me and don't reply, then I think there must be something wrong with me, like I don't deserve a hello because I am hideous, or digusting, or not worthy. Yes, I expect people to be nice and polite like I am, because I don't understand how people can be rude or cruel since it's not in me to be that way. Is that selfish of me to put those expectations in others?
Even here, I feel ignored and like people don't like me, but I actually don't think it's all in my head anymore.

Yes i do take things personally. For instance if someone says ''It's so quiet here!'' I suddenly blame myself for being too quiet, i feel as if i am boring to be with o'r something.

sleepysparrow said:

Yes. I take everything personally. I am really sensitive to other people's reactions to me. For example, if I say hello to someone and they just look at me and don't reply, then I think there must be something wrong with me, like I don't deserve a hello because I am hideous, or digusting, or not worthy. Yes, I expect people to be nice and polite like I am, because I don't understand how people can be rude or cruel since it's not in me to be that way. Is that selfish of me to put those expectations in others?
Even here, I feel ignored and like people don't like me, but I actually don't think it's all in my head anymore.

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Yeah, its the same for me, it really stresses me out, even on here. I can get paranoid about it. I feel like people would rather talk to anyone but me.