Do You Have A Best Friend?

theoutsider

theoutsider

Well-known member
Not including siblings, other relatives or spouses. I could otherwise say my brother is mine but can't think of anyone I would consider as a best friend. Likewise, I don't think anyone considers me as theirs. When I was in my 20's I had a group who I hung out with fairly regularly. Back then, I could have made the argument that I considered one of them my closest friend. We have all since went our separate ways and it's been years since I've attempted to keep in touch with any of them. I resist getting too close to new people due to my SA and knowing it will turn out badly. So, I really don't have a best friend. What about you?
 
GraybeardGhost

GraybeardGhost

Well-known member
I've had a few best friends, mostly women, none permanent. They leave or forget. They die. A strictly transient species. Better than brothers, though. A brother will cut your throat without a second thought.
 
Megaten

Megaten

Well-known member
I have a best friend but I'm not his. Probably my fault though. But for the most part I have no one to talk to about the things I'm interested in. Things changed once everyone became adults...I don't like it but it's whatever I suppose.
 
BlueDays

BlueDays

1
theoutsider said:
......I resist getting too close to new people due to my SA and knowing it will turn out badly......
Click to expand...
^ This is precisely why I have not had a best friend since 1993. Sadly my SA killed the last two best friends I had up until then.

I really, really miss having one. :sad:
 
Graeme1988

Graeme1988

Hie yer hence from me heath!
Nope, haven't had a best friend since 2005 when I dropped outta secondary school. Another disabled lad who was a couple years younger than me, who looked up to me for some reason. :idontknow: Haven't see or spoke to him since then, either. Don't even know if he's still living in the same area as me anymore.

Sadly, I'm not close with my family for reasons I won't go into here.
Other than to say dysfunction breeds introversion. At least, that's the case with me.
 
Fey

Fey

Well-known member
No. Making friends at my age is extremely difficult... I go out until I come home sore from work, volunteer work, classes, and still nothing. Nothing I can do about it.
 
theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
Yes. But i only ring him on the phone every several months typically. I don't see him in person anymore. I should call him more often, but i usually are lacking for things to talk about (since i don't have a life, and he does), so i don't.
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
No, my dog passed away about a year and a half ago and she was my best friend.

I have a cousin I hang out with regularly, and a high school friend I see here and there, but due to my AVPD I don't invest much time in people. Even if I got my disorder under control, I doubt I'd be much of a social person, anyway.

I'm okay being alone, at least as far as other people go, but I may get another dog at some point.
 
theoutsider

theoutsider

Well-known member
FountainandFairfax said:
No, my dog passed away about a year and a half ago and she was my best friend.

I have a cousin I hang out with regularly, and a high school friend I see here and there, but due to my AVPD I don't invest much time in people. Even if I got my disorder under control, I doubt I'd be much of a social person, anyway.

I'm okay being alone, at least as far as other people go, but I may get another dog at some point.
Click to expand...

Dogs are the best. The thing about getting another dog to replace a beloved dog who has passed away is the new dog has no idea he/she has the challenge of replacing your previous one. They will love you unconditionally and make you the center of their universe until you have no choice but to love them back the same. I highly recommend getting another.
 
Steiner

Steiner

Well-known member
Not including spouses? No. I find friends take too much out of me because it ends up feeling too formal and like a business meeting no matter how much I get to know them.
 
Pacific_Loner

Pacific_Loner

Pirate from the North Pole
I had one in high school, I had another one in college, then I made a new one a couple of years ago. But too much small talk at work made me the worst friend ever, I never answer the phone, I barely answer texts, I say things like "I miss you, we should do something next week end!", which I kind of mean, but then I never follow up with it because the need to be alone is too strong. So at this time, I think I can say I have no friend that remain.
 
planemo

planemo

Well-known member
I think as a child I was very sensitive to the cold/dysfunctional environment I grew up in. I never felt a clear sense of approval from my parents, in fact, probably the opposite. So, I grew up believing people would see no worth in me, and would never want to get to know me. Bad experiences with bad people only cemented this self-concept over time.

I never intended to make friends in school and university, but people did in fact gravitate towards me, however I still could not convince myself that it was genuine. Over time, I chose to let them drift away, since I felt my trials and tribulations would only serve as a reason for them to leave, and I could not bear the further humiliation and pain of rejection.

At present, given the state of my life, I have no doubt that no one would see any reason whatsoever to be my friend, even in the slightest way.

So I don't bother to try. I suppose I'm the one with the problem and not people in general, but I'm just not willing or able to change.
 
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F0AM

F0AM

Well-known member
I do have a best friend and a very good friend, and as much as i enjoy the time i spend with them, they drain me lol. I don't like having ppl around for long periods of time. I'm thankful though since they respect me and know about my SA.
 
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theslowesthand

theslowesthand

Banned
I don't think i'm "cut out" for friendships. I just feels too uncomfortable, too personal, too close. I seem to be okay with acquaintances (eg workmates). I'm not sure how i'd find a relationship, not sure at all, but i wouldn't be suprised if it was a tad "rocky".
 
M

Miami

Well-known member
I have one best friend due to the fact that he's my only friend... but he has many more friends so im not his best friend.
 
Psychedelicious

Psychedelicious

1
again

I finally have a best friend, who I just met this year. It's been so long since I had someone I've been really close to. I'm finally making some friends, and I'm sure it's only going to be a very temporary thing, but I'll try to enjoy it while it lasts. It's going to crush me even harder this time when I'm stuck being all alone again.
 
hidwell

hidwell

Well-known member
At school I had friends, but the thing about friends is they let you down belittle you at times and ignore you for others. So I rejected friendship many many years ago, and yes it gets lonely but there ain't no reason a square peg will fit into a round hole.
 
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