Some of them even questioned about my sexual orientation, I was like "What the ..." :veryangry:
Maybe next time I going to reply them: "Why? Are you interested?" :ironicsmile:
Can't stop staring at people
- Thread starter John S
- Start date
Some of them even questioned about my sexual orientation, I was like "What the ..." :veryangry:
Maybe next time I going to reply them: "Why? Are you interested?" :ironicsmile:
I knew someone who did this in school. He would literally turn around and stare directly at whomever caught his attention, for a very long time, even when the teacher was speaking. I didn't find it creepy, it was obvious something wasn't quite right and he couldn't help it. Later he would try to control it and look out the corner of his eye. Besides this, he was a nice enough (although shy) guy and he was fairly well liked. He did go to some type of therapy for whatever was actually wrong with him.
Im guessing this is not what you're going to do, but this is exactly how I would handle it - TELL THEM. Tell the people you are around the most that you have a form of OCD and cannot help staring at faces. Help them understand and expect it. Then they wont care so much, or at least understand, when it happens, which will enable you to relax, which in turn will probably help you with the additional symptoms, such as stress / sweating etc.
An issue like this doesn't define who *you* are. Its something that can be treated and fixed and there's no need to be afraid of it.
Can you imagine not having to worry or stress about it half as much as you are? If you keep going the way you are you're going to allow yourself to develop additional issues - Don't allow this issue to do that to you (and it IS a choice).
You'd be surprised how accepting people are when you educate them - not everyone is a moron (or so I keep telling myself
).
Im guessing this is not what you're going to do, but this is exactly how I would handle it - TELL THEM. Tell the people you are around the most that you have a form of OCD and cannot help staring at faces. Help them understand and expect it. Then they wont care so much, or at least understand, when it happens, which will enable you to relax, which in turn will probably help you with the additional symptoms, such as stress / sweating etc.
An issue like this doesn't define who *you* are. Its something that can be treated and fixed and there's no need to be afraid of it.
Can you imagine not having to worry or stress about it half as much as you are? If you keep going the way you are you're going to allow yourself to develop additional issues - Don't allow this issue to do that to you (and it IS a choice).
You'd be surprised how accepting people are when you educate them - not everyone is a moron (or so I keep telling myself
).
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Mike555
Active member
Solution:
For people who stand and see other people in their peripheral vision eye sight and makes them un-comfortable and others. All you have to do is, instead of looking down on the ground, lift up your head to normal level where you look straight and see the huge difference
This happened to me as well and freaked me out and others too.. this is what helped me and found this by my self.
For people who stand and see other people in their peripheral vision eye sight and makes them un-comfortable and others. All you have to do is, instead of looking down on the ground, lift up your head to normal level where you look straight and see the huge difference
This happened to me as well and freaked me out and others too.. this is what helped me and found this by my self.
Earthcircle
Well-known member
I used to do that. I think that OCD usually hinges on some stressor in one's life, so if you can figure out what's making you nervous right now, it might help if you can eliminate or reduce that thing.
Earthcircle
Well-known member
I might be interested. lol
Mike555
Active member
Please help me too, well i know when standing is better but when sitting i can't!! HELP HELP!!!!! IT'S MOST CRITIAL IN MY LIFE NOW! TOP PRIORITY! I'M LOOKING FOR A WAY TO SOLVE IT AS FAST AS I CAN, I'M IN THE ARMY AND I CAN'T SIT when we have groups! i sweat, i get nervous, they notice me that i stare at them! please i need help! how to cure this ?????? it's worst nightmare ever!!!! !!
Mike555
Active member
Thanks dude but how can i practice exposure? :crying::crying::crying:
what should i do????? dude i have asperger and one of its symptom is not looking at people's eyes... can people with asperger change into a guy who looks at other people's eyes? i wana face this fear and i'm scared and this problem drives me crazy so much that i want to suicide or run away, it ruins my entire life :crying:
Mike555
Active member
It's pain, to stare at somebody without saying a single word, all i can say, hey, can i practice starring at your eyes, i have a problem, i can't stare.. and then i start starring, it gets awkward as **** and i have nothing to say, he maybe asks me a question and i answer shortly... and it's even more awkward that we both stare at each other and i have nothing to say due to super lack of confidence and asperger....I have experienced this too. I totally agree with Rhondasabitch that you need to expose yourself to the fear. You have to face it. Maybe start with family members and purposefully stare at them even though you are feeling this great anxiety. While doing this, really concentrate on your body sensations like racing heart, sweating, shallow breath. This is the anxiety response. You need to breathe deeply and deliberately and let the fear/anxiety feelings pass. Your body will relax more and you will realize that your worst fear did not happen.
Start with people you feel safe with and then expand to others that make you feel more anxious. I love the idea of dark glasses in the mall. Work through it with that. But I think you need to shed the dark glasses eventually so you can do it on your own.
Maybe a bridge from dark glasses to none would be a clear pair with wide sides/temples that you can hide your line of sight behind. You can have them made up in lenses without power in them if you don't require glasses.
Mike555
Active member
lol u the best man..... i can relate to u so much and it was funny to read how u make people nervous hahaha! because i'm the same, i freak out people with my ocd, i sit with lots of people in a room in a lecture or some people are talking and then some guy sits in my peripheral vision sight, then i look at him through my peripheral vision and most of the times they notice it and it makes them nervous and i cause people to freak out sometimes omg. people get frustrated from me a lot and sometimes angry, 1 time i made 1 guy feel awkward and he wanted to kill me wtf.. he's crazy, he spoke about killing people this night.. and usually he's always crazy and makes lots of problems to other people and i made him feel awkward ... this day i wanted to run away from everything, and even suicide but, it was in the army.. i'm still in the army and i told everything to the commander and she told me to stay and sleep.. and imagine i sleep with this psycho in the same room.. but thanks god it's over, they moved me to another base because we finished the training..
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Mike555
Active member
Huh it didn't help.
So why when i didn't stare at a guy, when we were sitting in a big room with lots of people, i didn't stare at him directly but through my peripheral vision i saw him going crazy because of me, he couldn't focus because of me staring at him through my peripheral vision and he looked at me few times to see if i look at him or not... it depends also how u sit, if u sit in a straight line and nobody is front of u and u lift ur head up it's ok, u won't see them in ur peripheral vision but if somebody sits in different positions (not straight) ppl will be in ur peripheral vision and it what happens mostly in every place.
Mike555
Active member
Hey, an update, i'm working on fixing it and done some incredible stuff and i told my self that i'm a genius...
Tip 1:
The way to overcome this problem: Actually when you sit in a bus and there's somebody by ur side, and u look out of the window, but u still see his face in your peripheral vision.
The truth is that you're not staring at him, and the other person gets nervous not because you look at him but BECAUSE OF YOUR BODYLANGUAGE - He sees nervous movements (and then he knows you're staring at him because of the body language! not because of the eyes) just try not to move a lot... or try to show nervous signs, when he sees you making too many moves, subconsciously he sees your nervous body language.
when you don't move a lot, he sees you as invisible, his peripheral vision doesn't even know you're there (but when you're moving too much, he will notice it)
don't think you need now to freeze all the time, just do what you want to do, if you need to scratch your hair, do it, don't please other people.
When you watch TV, look at the TV, you'll see the person in your peripheral vision. the person beside you will get nervous not because you are looking at him but because he will see you moving (fidgeting or what ever) and from here, his brain will sub-consioucly will think you're staring at him.. just look at the TV, just don't show nervous body language, that's all!
Tip 2: - Get your eyes checked. Check if you see blurry with one of your eyes, if yes, get eye lenses or glasses.
You maybe have Astigmatism (a problem when you can't focus on one thing.
Edit 1:
Let me tell you something.. when i watched a TV, a guy sat right inside my vision, not by my side but even worse, he sat where i could almost see him directly.. what i did is didn't move barley (only when needed) and didn't show any nervous signs, i just stared at the TV, from my periphal vision. and guess what! like 15min passed and everything was completely GOOD lol!!! i discovered the person gets nervous if he sees ur body being nervous (too much movement)
and now when i sat on the bus, also, some guy sat in my peripheral vision. i noticed once the guy in my peripheral vision completely almost stops moving.. i don't see him anymore, he's like invisible... and probably other people see you the same... and the only reason the person gets nervous is because he sees too much nervous movement from your side (if you move regularly, like the rest of the people, it's not a problem)... our bodies (brain) is sub-consciously knows when the person is nervous.
Tip 1:
The way to overcome this problem: Actually when you sit in a bus and there's somebody by ur side, and u look out of the window, but u still see his face in your peripheral vision.
The truth is that you're not staring at him, and the other person gets nervous not because you look at him but BECAUSE OF YOUR BODYLANGUAGE - He sees nervous movements (and then he knows you're staring at him because of the body language! not because of the eyes) just try not to move a lot... or try to show nervous signs, when he sees you making too many moves, subconsciously he sees your nervous body language.
when you don't move a lot, he sees you as invisible, his peripheral vision doesn't even know you're there (but when you're moving too much, he will notice it)
don't think you need now to freeze all the time, just do what you want to do, if you need to scratch your hair, do it, don't please other people.
When you watch TV, look at the TV, you'll see the person in your peripheral vision. the person beside you will get nervous not because you are looking at him but because he will see you moving (fidgeting or what ever) and from here, his brain will sub-consioucly will think you're staring at him.. just look at the TV, just don't show nervous body language, that's all!
Tip 2: - Get your eyes checked. Check if you see blurry with one of your eyes, if yes, get eye lenses or glasses.
You maybe have Astigmatism (a problem when you can't focus on one thing.
Edit 1:
Let me tell you something.. when i watched a TV, a guy sat right inside my vision, not by my side but even worse, he sat where i could almost see him directly.. what i did is didn't move barley (only when needed) and didn't show any nervous signs, i just stared at the TV, from my periphal vision. and guess what! like 15min passed and everything was completely GOOD lol!!! i discovered the person gets nervous if he sees ur body being nervous (too much movement)
and now when i sat on the bus, also, some guy sat in my peripheral vision. i noticed once the guy in my peripheral vision completely almost stops moving.. i don't see him anymore, he's like invisible... and probably other people see you the same... and the only reason the person gets nervous is because he sees too much nervous movement from your side (if you move regularly, like the rest of the people, it's not a problem)... our bodies (brain) is sub-consciously knows when the person is nervous.
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MotherWolff
Banned
Do you have a therapist? This is something you need to discuss with him/her. Sometimes I think I stare at people too much but I hate it when I get stared at. Anyways, I don't think there is anything wrong with you just because you stare alot. I guess there is something wrong with 99% of the people in this country cause alot of the people I see sure do love to stare at me......
FallenAcorn
Member
It seems like I'm the only one who can get people far away uncomfortable.. In church, when I'm facing forward, I notice people many rows ahead get irritable and others next to them notice. Same happens to the preacher on stage and I know it's me.. I'm not 100% sure I have the same symptoms described in this thread, but I definitely relate in many ways. Update since a year ago: I feel like I don't have as much anxiety symptoms when people are around me. Sometimes, I do feel uncomfortable and fidget and my fingers shake but I think I improved at least a little bit since I first got this. Sitting next to someone at first makes me nervous. But after a while, i just get use to it even through they are still uncomfortable (lol). Like my brother. I know he gets annoyed, but we still do fun stuff together and talk. Having SA, doesn't mean you can't interact with others and make friendships! I learned in psychology, people hold on to fears because they always avoid them. A person afraid of heights wouldn't go skydiving. Therefore, they will stay scared of heights. We need to get out of our comfort zone and be around people. It's okay to be nervous. It's a humanly thing to feel. I've noticed I build up anxiety in the summer when I'm not around many people versus during the school year (public school). I've accepted this disorder and I know it won't go away in a day. So I might as well get use to it right? We can't get this disorder to stop us from living life! Why should we let such a small thing interfere? Also, I recommend Shaytards on youtube, if you have the time. They are a fun family of vloggers. (i would avoid the comment section). They can easily cheer me up any day
I have exact same problem and this problem is destroying my life day by day. I can't focus on lectures and i can't talk to people. when i want to talk i start to stare in their eyes. But sometime i became normal then that thought came to my mind "i don't have to stare" and i start to stare in eyes. Please help me god.
Mike555
Active member
Same problem here, try taking anti-depressant or some anxiety pills from a psycholog and quit porn if you're watching.. it can get rid of it.. i'm currently trying to quit porn.. i saw this youtube vid .. about how porn addiction effects people https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU
i read from yahoo answers that anxiety pills cured it for him.. like 2-3 people i heard it helped them with this.. some 1 said with phsyicail symptomps.. if quitting porn, won't help me at all after 2 month or 3.. i will take pills.
greggy
Well-known member
I had this same problem, and now ive tought myself to stop but at a cost see now ehen there are people near me i srare blankly in a different direction, its embarrassing somtimes like today i was at work and went into a cafe for a drink i made my order and two of my colleagues walked in and i was stood next to them abd just stared at the floor i didnt even see them then one of them said helli to me haha it must have looked very strage, try to find a balance, just give them a little look abd then look away