PugofCrydee
You want to know how I got these scars?
I
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I may have APD too, and I think the same way as you, I'd be just happy to spend time together with that someone special. I may start getting worried around 30+ if I'm still alone by then.
It amazes me how people (myself included) can have such a hard time finding someone. Its human nature to want to be wanted, to want to be loved, yet so many people in the world have such a hard time finding even a single friend, let alone someone who is happy to see past their flaws, and truly love them for who they are, and want to be with them.
It's hard when a true relationship is finished but you have to look forward.
If you want someone else in your life, you will have to take risks. I mean, you will have to overcome a bit your social anxiety and look for friends. Perhaps, there's a good friend who you can look in another moré deeper way.
Wait till your 40 then you know you will be alone forever.